tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-28249786799392690052024-03-05T00:45:36.225-08:00Anamorphic Analysis"Reframing the Big Picture"Eric Wheelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08224914551422412880noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-88274788490821131582009-10-25T14:50:00.000-07:002009-10-25T15:18:59.247-07:00David Cross "Nose" Comedy-- Nyuk Nyuk Ny-Oh screw it, this title is terribleI know that this thing is dead and that nobody's written here in months, but I just read about something that got the comedy nerd inside me all fired up and desperately needed somewhere to vent.<br /><br />David Cross, co-creator of <span style="font-style: italic;">Mr. Show with Bob and David</span>, star of <span style="font-style: italic;">Arrested Development</span> and creator of <span style="font-style: italic;">Shut Up, You Fucking Baby!</span>, quite possibly the greatest comedy album in the past ten years, <a href="http://www.politico.com/click/stories/0910/cross_i_did_coke_at_whcd.html">recently boasted about snorting coke while sitting about 40 feet away from Barack Obama at the White House Correspondents' Dinner</a>. To top it off, he did so in honor of <span style="font-style: italic;">Vice</span> creator Gavin McInnes, who apparently snorted coke at the now-defunct DEA Museum some years ago, sparking an insanely childish game of one-upmanship between the two (no hyperlink to prove the McInnes connection, but take my word for it that McInnes claimed responsibility for starting the game and even posted a copy of Cross' "tag! you're it! tee hee hee" text on his <a href="http://streetbonersandtvcarnage.com/blog/">blog</a>, though he's apparently come to his senses and removed the post).<br /><br />Is it just me, or is this just a mind-bogglingly stupid thing to brag about, especially given the administration that's currently in power? Say what you will about Obama (and I've certainly been critical of the media's obsession with a man who has yet to back his talk with any significant walk), but he's undoubtedly a better alternative to Bush, of whom Cross was just a <span style="font-style: italic;">tad</span> disapproving. To then, in turn, boast about what's essentially a middle finger to Obama's authority as President of the United States confuses Cross' message entirely. Is he unhappy that Obama's in power, or does he simply refuse to respect the office of President? If it's the latter, as I suspect it is, he's nothing more than that grade school classmate who constantly lobbed spitballs and sarcastic remarks towards the person at the front of the room, regardless of whether that person was credible or not.<br /><br />As a comedian whose socially-minded material might be better suited for a pulpit than your local Yuk Stop, Cross has nothing to hang his hat on other than his perspective on life. It is his view on the world that he essentially sells night in and night out-- to so obviously advertise that his stance is essentially “fuck the man, no matter who that might be” is, dare I say, downright retarded. I'm all for subversion and “fighting the power,” but when you start to do so without any thought as to the target of your actions, you instantly lose credibility and become about as cliché as a god damn Che t-shirt.<br /><br />Irreverence for irreverence's sake isn't subversive, it's just immature.Flemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02112086927613351234noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-11527873129173788212009-08-02T23:16:00.000-07:002009-08-04T20:16:27.624-07:00"I Love You Man, Review"<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXO2VuBxjpVnqJ8wPNkzQdz1YIS80WbUjc1xEbHVWH3BU4Q-SvkOjQRHicCQLaA2EZAUGpidefWtbK_NZ_GzyBliS_oFn18IYzEJb0H9h8XhUY_dIj8IrGPYQasuHVB2FWVnXy-bTWEBw/s1600-h/i_love_you_man.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 270px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhXO2VuBxjpVnqJ8wPNkzQdz1YIS80WbUjc1xEbHVWH3BU4Q-SvkOjQRHicCQLaA2EZAUGpidefWtbK_NZ_GzyBliS_oFn18IYzEJb0H9h8XhUY_dIj8IrGPYQasuHVB2FWVnXy-bTWEBw/s400/i_love_you_man.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324330435424879826" /></a><br /><div>"I Love You, Man" is a film that succeeds despite itself. The film's premise seems to have been originated, developed and polished off during a particularly brief and uninspiring elevator pitch. The promotional posters brings to mind the title of Lewis Carroll's poem, "The Walrus and the Carpenter," or in the case of this film's entirely disposable narrative "The Walrus and the Relatively Successful Real Estate Agent." The film is indifferently shot (though not outright visually vulgar like "Superbad" or "Pineapple Express") and is littered with music cues that could benevolently be called "non-subversive." But the film's greatest detriment lies beyond in the screen, in the introduction of the bilious phrase "bromantic comedy" into mainstream culture (or at least the large swaths of that culture which check Rotten Tomatoes or Metacritic on a regular basis).</div><div><br /></div><div>But despite all of this, and let me emphasis that this is a distinct "despite" not a "because of" or any other sort of fortuitous creative frictions, this is a film worth seeing and even a film worth discussing. The film boasts a solid supporting cast with J.K. Simmons, Thomas Lennon, Andy Samburg, Jane Curtin, a particularly good Jaime Pressly and a particularly bad Jon Favreau (he can't act, he can't write, he can't direct - he can't do it all!) Rising above this ensemble, however, is Paul Rudd. </div><div><br /></div><div>The character he plays is not particularly complex nor sympathetic nor dynamic nor even that fucking interesting, but I would pay good money to see unedited dailies - timecode and all - of Paul Rudd acting his way into and back out of many a paper bag. It's unfair to call this the performance of a lifetime because Rudd is still relatively early in his career and I haven't seen <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Role Models</span> (David Wain, 2008), among other Rudd vehicles.* There is also the aforementioned fact that he's playing the straight man in a recurring series of standard-issue comedy scenarios. As a character he is unwritten and paralyzed by romcom tropes, but as a performer he explores these very limits and lounges in their margins. Indeed the writing and directing privilege Rudd to a degree rarely seen in contemporary comedies, allowing him to create comedic beats and anti-wordplay that border on the surreal. There is a wonderfully vertiginous feeling to watching Rudd ramble and stumble far beyond the customary edit point, chasing tangents in ways both emotional and bizarre. In contrast to the increasingly stale (and prevalent) stylings of Michael Cera, you often have no idea how Rudd is going to finish a sentence or if he is even going to attempt such a thing. All of this is in truly surprising contrast to the heinous, fascistic and catchphrase-enforcing posters smothering Los Angeles over the last few months, or as I like to call them "The Four Horseman":</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhLYlrY7vEzd9vuyUEzlIUlfjtYPUe3g0azoUSXEjG-wJzX-aRW_YseY3SrHpILTjUIOyzJnioOc-BpAMrSaCsESqp7gPphgYGwHoh8CJ67ZvRRVV7ec-GoW8YZ9gnCm1CVpFvCDMmWUhM/s320/iloveyouman_int.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324376650003916850" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><br /></span><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGJ7UybAh617a9JY79ZdKvjvSx9lTsoDQqbGv82MJx-zhEawr59k6Y3-xyIU2m-9ivtnYvNpQaaeeXg2c1iHn9yIN1h_CA5j5iTO1GHT9kw9TT0o-Jv5RaG5ymJL0McbqzXZcWiFYY3E8/s320/iloveyouman_int2.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324376886956198194" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 238px; " /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>None of these lines are delivered in a particularly noteworthy way (one imagines the promo people skimming an unused draft of the script for brotastic quips), but Rudd manages to both wring out the full awkwardness of "sweet, sweet hanging" and to capture the spontaneous vulnerability of uttering a neologism like "totes magotes." And although Segel never threatens to confront Rudd as a comedic equal, he provides key support for two of the film's best, most deapan jokes. The first involves Paul Rudd's inexplicably exclusive familiarity with the Timothy Dalton (or "T-Dalt") era of the James Bond series. The other, thankfully recurring, gag involves Rudd recounting his days of "slappin tha bass" in a bit of vocal mispronunciation far removed from something like the foreign-man shenanigans of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Borat. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="">Lubitsch this is not. But at its best, this is modern studio comedy at its (nearly) best.</span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>*Since beginning this review many months ago I have, in fact, seen <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Role Models</span>. Rudd is good in it, but not this good.</div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Eric Wheelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08224914551422412880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-2380143201022866292009-07-04T10:54:00.000-07:002009-07-04T10:57:21.934-07:00WELCOME TO EARTH<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc5NvoOlP1AdTSlEv9FjvV1ElLtpvxdFdk-LuqO5q4BkSDeTskmw-A7sLnA8POGNEbmPPe9j8MRz9IBedOsB_0lMzWFmaHI03q0AORBvGuoiZplPq2fCCJ8eMPmrSfLVkZM1JvN4jd-c0/s1600-h/Will+Smith+Independence+Day.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgc5NvoOlP1AdTSlEv9FjvV1ElLtpvxdFdk-LuqO5q4BkSDeTskmw-A7sLnA8POGNEbmPPe9j8MRz9IBedOsB_0lMzWFmaHI03q0AORBvGuoiZplPq2fCCJ8eMPmrSfLVkZM1JvN4jd-c0/s400/Will+Smith+Independence+Day.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5354665483256094466" border="0" /></a><br />And happy Independence Day.Daniel Borders-Ashehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03148077472844292600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-50221547497381658212009-07-01T08:02:00.000-07:002009-07-01T08:15:12.742-07:00Dio For FreeWant a mixtape? <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4zX0Erh0RG5LkXgjhzXcGpRu8l4IHyNIg7e_WcKtsfceW1GosIb5zHPS90uCt296mgFuUMCevANVOXj0FlbnoWTaU5RsxI55LG9UiRhce6x89jRRBF0nlHwtRvjSuj8ASFO-3KO3QB7I/s1600-h/dio.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4zX0Erh0RG5LkXgjhzXcGpRu8l4IHyNIg7e_WcKtsfceW1GosIb5zHPS90uCt296mgFuUMCevANVOXj0FlbnoWTaU5RsxI55LG9UiRhce6x89jRRBF0nlHwtRvjSuj8ASFO-3KO3QB7I/s320/dio.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5353507642024234274" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Yeah you do. <br /><br /><br />While nothing on it quite reaches the blissful heights of his youtube sensation in the making <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BmVDr93UJQQ&feature=fvst">Aye</a>, the mixtape still has a pretty fresh sound, and although I can't understand shit, reminds me of why I like hip hop. The flow is simply that. Flow. Beautiful nonsense to my ears. <br /><br />The only real problem with the tape is that it is cut up with some kind of radio interview, which of course makes no sense to English speakers. <br /><br />That and it is a mix tape. The most retarded and obnoxious form of music release ever conceived by man. <br /><a href="http://giel.vara.nl/reacties.425.0.html?&tx_ttnews[tt_news]=8800&tx_ttnews[backPid]=424&cHash=88fdbaf56a">lonk</a>RHKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11333101850598458442noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-69512806242642252322009-06-24T12:32:00.000-07:002009-06-24T12:49:58.110-07:00Back For the First Time<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk5EtXvBXXxmyjIkfCT3Zzi8On86SC_yH_r9O8YNvko098ASFB0lYWgICzgSNlL7b_pl61QRWM8ybMCQNU-BAyhGOLuEVce4wohkjBHh94mTUEHRVKS7aqfUXptzfKP53mrbVNVS6Nt5E/s1600-h/ludacris.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 321px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhk5EtXvBXXxmyjIkfCT3Zzi8On86SC_yH_r9O8YNvko098ASFB0lYWgICzgSNlL7b_pl61QRWM8ybMCQNU-BAyhGOLuEVce4wohkjBHh94mTUEHRVKS7aqfUXptzfKP53mrbVNVS6Nt5E/s400/ludacris.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5350979579533825778" border="0" /></a><br />Soup, true believers!<br /><br />So we've been on a bit of an extended hiatus for the past couple months. Please excuse our absence -- all but one of our contributors just graduated college. The one straggler happens to be Yours Truly.<br /><br />SO WHY WEREN'T YOU POSTING?! you may ask. Welp, like any good coattail hanger, I've been basking in my friends' collective glory... and not doing a damn thing.<br /><br />Now now, sonny, don't you worry. All good things must come to an end (or so they say). I've grown tired of being lackadaisical... at least for the next week or so.<br /><br />So, what do you, faithful reader (singular because there's surely only one) have to look forward to in the coming days?<br /><ul><li>A review and retrospective on the life and times and works of Daniel Dumile aka MF DOOM aka DOOM aka The Supervillain.</li><li>A defense of Girly Music (Jewel notwithstanding).</li><li>A discussion on 90s British music and its influences (and if anyone should even care).</li><li>And much, much more (assuming I can wrangle my cohorts from their post-graduation malaise).</li></ul>See you in a couple days!Daniel Borders-Ashehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03148077472844292600noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-54767094152054328352009-06-09T12:22:00.000-07:002009-06-09T14:07:16.335-07:00A Brief Roundup of Music I've Heard RecentlyJason Lytle: Yours Truly, The Commuter<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh87-0osttWwKdSn1v1Tl3taNytHQQQY1c33U0af0CcHlrEyCpecty0tIXWHHiEY3BzxYE3czsXEJxgCDO8UZIkH3Zzh1TRwvsqnktrsia4FQVdko0q_yN4FdH4g6D77rqWMKOiEN8Cvm4/s1600-h/jason_lytle.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 300px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh87-0osttWwKdSn1v1Tl3taNytHQQQY1c33U0af0CcHlrEyCpecty0tIXWHHiEY3BzxYE3czsXEJxgCDO8UZIkH3Zzh1TRwvsqnktrsia4FQVdko0q_yN4FdH4g6D77rqWMKOiEN8Cvm4/s320/jason_lytle.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345411242112625490" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />It's pretty good. <b>B+</b><br /><br /><br /><br />Sunn O))): Monoliths and Dimensions <br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0iawSiS2YP7SJnz07aDzbvDCmKfqn8i-4eZNoevlmpWr_9rzVUNZCWwO3_nQWyhIxinigs3wEghttctL8iCo5Hme0wSellkS-oC_KkOIPXJ-FG3HFK9Da3uP3ju_ep4PG-eLWYaR_yQU/s1600-h/Monoliths_&_Dimensions.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 250px; height: 250px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0iawSiS2YP7SJnz07aDzbvDCmKfqn8i-4eZNoevlmpWr_9rzVUNZCWwO3_nQWyhIxinigs3wEghttctL8iCo5Hme0wSellkS-oC_KkOIPXJ-FG3HFK9Da3uP3ju_ep4PG-eLWYaR_yQU/s320/Monoliths_&_Dimensions.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345412313225052034" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Doom metal + horns and strings. <b>A</b><br /><br /><br /><br />Geoff Mullen: thrtysxtrllnmnfstns<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUMiF4EM4mzAs7YJQUvDKy_D0FvQlKaE7WMEjt-cyT4_EpCcx0Hk7M34Yt9oApEIMxELtQxQQt9SdhoQ7SmXSZnOvmA8zkdogroenlgJuynH5a5wZlEHnO2n3cXPEyO-2tOCkxY7d0loo/s1600-h/geoff_mullen.jpeg.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 286px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjUMiF4EM4mzAs7YJQUvDKy_D0FvQlKaE7WMEjt-cyT4_EpCcx0Hk7M34Yt9oApEIMxELtQxQQt9SdhoQ7SmXSZnOvmA8zkdogroenlgJuynH5a5wZlEHnO2n3cXPEyO-2tOCkxY7d0loo/s320/geoff_mullen.jpeg.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5345413635707685906" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />Nice little drones and blips. <b>A</b><br /><br /><br />That's all for now. Stuff is pretty good.RHKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11333101850598458442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-43788680615739804172009-05-25T17:19:00.000-07:002009-05-25T17:27:38.161-07:00Nobody Writin' Me on the Blog<span style="font-family: georgia; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">You bastards need to update this space more often. It doesn't have to be meaningful, well-thought out or even that interesting. Just please, for the love of God, keep writing.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">That being said, I have it on good authority that the following, from one Cory McIntyre, is the greatest written work ever crafted. So I guess you can all put your pens away and quit trying.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-family: georgia; color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><a href="http://tinypic.com" target="_blank"><img src="http://i39.tinypic.com/swr2b9.jpg" border="0" alt="Image and video hosting by TinyPic" /></a></span>Flemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02112086927613351234noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-22131541549975730482009-05-09T15:29:00.000-07:002009-05-26T16:48:49.839-07:00Star Trek: 2009 Biatchez!<span style="font-weight: bold;">May 7<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">th</span>, 2009</span><br />...a day long awaited. The IMAX screen went dark. A trailer for <span style="font-style: italic;">Night @ The Museum 2</span> played to the mocking snickers of all. The trailers ended. A Paramount logo appeared with an unfamiliar <span style="font-style: italic;">Lost</span>-esque musical score humming. Blurry lights, submarine squawks and a giant wall of metal soared past the screen. The wall of metal drifted away... it was a Federation <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">starship</span>! My mouth dropped open in awe of how detailed and real it felt - this was what <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Starfleet</span> looked like with actual cinematic vision thrown at it. There were some '<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">splosions</span>, some drama and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">sturm</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">und</span>-<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">drang</span>, the prologue ended and a familiar arrowhead twirled in slowly with a certain special pair of words <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">silhouetted</span> in the foreground:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">STAR TREK</span><br /><br />This was it. After all the long years of shite B-grade TV and movies, after all the teasing and ridicule, after two release date push backs, after endless doubt & worry, a dream had come true. Our beloved space opera was finally being given the treatment & recognition it deserved. This is easily, as 95% or whatever of the nation's critics have already said, one of the greatest summer thrill rides to come out in a decade. Even more importantly the movie achieves this without selling its proverbial soul: hip and stylish as it might be, this is still very much the same good ole Star Trek we know and love. It's like an old friend who leaves town for a year or five and returns slightly changed... some catching-up is needed but deep down they're still the same person.<br /><br />Sure there are problems and minor missteps (Nokia??) but the broad strokes, what really matters, are absolutely utterly nailed: the sense of adventure, the cheer & optimism, the grungy camp tone (something lost after TOS)... Best of all is the handling of character, each one given at least one moment in the spotlight to highlight their contribution. Quinto & Urban's portrayals of Spock & Bones are nicely layered while Pine in particular manages to make Kirk his own without resorting to impersonation. For characters so completely defined by the original actors portraying them, all three of these performances are feats if not miraculous. Bruce Greenwood (Cpt. Pike) and Eric Bana (teh evilz villain) are noteworthy as well, the former for the authority he brings to a character not well established in TOS, the latter for complexity he brings to an otherwise 2D underwritten character.<br /><br />It's no masterpiece though, no matter how much some including me might wish it was. It's in the A-tier but the RT rank is an overrating. Main reason, perhaps a necessary evil: it's a bit rushed - see poorly handled mid-movie 5min exposition monologue in the snow cave. There were a number of key moments where I knew I was supposed to feel emotion but for whatever reason it just wasn't coming through. An extra story beat or two would have solved this problem, but would've also detracted from the film's breakneck pace. Considering Star Trek's goal was to court a new generation of young fans this was probably a worthwhile sacrifice, perhaps Star Trek 12 whenever it comes out will have the breathing room to tell a deeper fleshed out story. For now, weesa happee.<br /><br /><object height="340" width="560"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/fmjGBYxIUvE&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/fmjGBYxIUvE&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="340" width="560"></embed></object><br /><br />Best Scene:<br />The Kobayashi Maru test<br /><br />Assorted Good Lines:<br />"Why don't you get five more and we'll be even." - Kirk<br />(re: Uhura) "I would rather not discuss it." - Spock<br />"You have been and always shall be my friend." - Spock<br />"...green blooded hobgoblin." - Bones<br />"I may throw up on you." - Bones<br />"I can do this, I can do this!" - Chekov<br />"I'ma given her all she's gote!" - Scotty<br /><br />How it ends:<br />A famous voice-over.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-71850813172176474502009-05-08T17:50:00.000-07:002009-05-08T17:51:55.600-07:00<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDij-_DrbHQwN4XxPtcTZFVExwE9WlyVgtLklP8s72kWBLrH6evmibWXqqDrNu1qGfNdyKWGthUSTYJFAWUeLwLYwydy4YP3UfbKFmTXRd8PJPEs7i8UO3ZL0ssudDdV2iAFSfmlmMiCc/s1600-h/spock+uhura.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 135px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDij-_DrbHQwN4XxPtcTZFVExwE9WlyVgtLklP8s72kWBLrH6evmibWXqqDrNu1qGfNdyKWGthUSTYJFAWUeLwLYwydy4YP3UfbKFmTXRd8PJPEs7i8UO3ZL0ssudDdV2iAFSfmlmMiCc/s320/spock+uhura.jpg" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333620518283456770" /></a><br /><br />:/RHKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11333101850598458442noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-38072937197037794342009-05-08T10:27:00.000-07:002009-05-09T15:18:06.832-07:00Star Trek Retrospective IV: 2001-2008<span style="font-weight: bold;">Prequel Fail</span><br />With Voyager's run ending on a ratings down note, merchandise sales nosediving, the most recent movie (Insurrection) a box office fizzle and Trek's reputation rightfully ruined, the producers were keenly aware that whatever followed Voyager's finale in mid-2001 had to be something hip and <span style="font-style: italic;">awesome</span>... something that gave Trek a fresh start and would court a new generation of fans with its cool factor (sound familiar?) Thus UPN replaced the dorky, ill-received Voyager with <span style="font-style: italic;">Enterprise</span> (later awkwardly retitled <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek: Enterprise</span>), a prequel series set a hundred years before TOS with the goal of accomplishing what JJ Abrams eventually did: reboot Trek for the young generation. As the mere existence of JJ Abrams' movie proves, this first try was not so hot.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZPn-lTytfGo&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ZPn-lTytfGo&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />For all its superficial attempts at being different (a soft-rock opening theme instead of Jerry Goldsmith, "hull plating" instead of shields, etc), the early two seasons of <span style="font-style: italic;">Enterprise</span> were *exactly* the same as Voyager. Same production staff, same writing staff, same dated "early 90's filmed with 00's cameras" look and feel, same tired formulaic plots, and nary a cool factor in sight. It tried so hard at first, the first handful of episodes aren't too shabby, but by the time season 2 rolls around you can just feel the energy zap from the screen with what is probably the single worst, lamest clump of 20-odd episodes Trek has ever produced. This same creative team had been working on TNG, Voyager, two of the movies and now this for almost two decades. It was time to give up. Or was it?<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"><br />One Last Chance<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek: Nemesis</span> (2002) - They certainly pulled out all the stops here. A longer-than-usual gap between movies, an A-list celebrity screenwriter (John Logan, writer of <span style="font-style: italic;">Gladiator</span> & <span style="font-style: italic;">Sweeney Todd</span>), an Oscar-winning action editor for a director, a bigger budget... with the television arm of the franchise seemingly crippled, this movie was the last real chance to make Star Trek cool again, at least in the immediate future. And that's where the trouble begins. The creative team in charge had (past five years of Trek case in point) <span style="font-style: italic;">no friggin clue</span> what "cool" meant anymore.<br /><br />If <span style="font-style: italic;">Nemesis</span>'s deep problems could be boiled down to any one cause, it's that the filmmakers were making the movie they thought fans wanted to see, as opposed to you know, actually making a good movie, which is ironically what the fans actually wanted. At an almost regular interval, a moment or shot in Nemesis comes along where you can just feel the director/writer/whoever going "ooh, they'll love this!" But it's always just so, SO painfully lame. Any time they're presented with a good or bad cinematic choice, they make the bad one, thinking its what we want to see, but it isn't! We just want a good story that sends the TNG cast out with style, dangit. At one point during the climactic battle, Picard rams the Enterprise into the enemy ship with very little explanation or result. Why does he do this? Where's the strategy? Contrast this with any of the like three similar rammings in Battlestar Galactica, the difference in quality is obvious. Earlier in the film, Picard & his team explore a planet using a dune buggy. The reason: "ooh they'll love a car chase!" But no, all this does is make the non-fans snicker mockingly during the trailer at their lame attempt to be cool, and all the fans roll their eyes because they're aware of any of a dozen reasons why this scene shouldn't be happening.<br /><br />Anyways, enough with my Trekkie rant. The verdict: I have seen all of the previous 9 movies, even the worst ones, at least a dozen times. The first time I saw Nemesis in the theater was the only time I have seen it from beginning to end. It is so painfully unwatchable, it's the only Star Trek film I've never been inspired to revisit and I don't think six years will change my or anyone else's view of it. Making a paltry $40-odd million at the box office, this would be the last in the series of films that began over twenty years prior with TMP.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/gMiICH6ya2c&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/gMiICH6ya2c&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Best Line: (it's hard to find one, but)<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span>"You have the bridge, Mr. Troi." - Picard, mocking Riker for recently marrying Troi.<br /><br />How it ends:<br />New lines of work or retirement for all involved.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Too Little Too Late: <span style="font-style: italic;">Enterprise </span>Season 4<br /></span>The TV franchise adrift, the movies tanked... solution = try salvaging what was left of <span style="font-style: italic;">Enterprise</span>. Midway through it's third season, the executive producers and writers who'd been on staff since at least Voyager "voluntarily" took a back seat to fresh blood, and wow what a difference it made. Starting with the episode "Azati Prime," the hapless show that made even Voyager seem nifty was suddenly sort of, but only sort of awesome. The characters became more rounded, the dialogue sharper and the plotlines less predictable. By the start of Season 4 when the new producers took over entirely, the entire feel of the show had changed. It was suddenly competent. By the time season 4 had ended, it was clear this was Trek's best (and only legitimately good) season since the end of DS9. There are some great stories here that actually do the origins-job a prequel is supposed to do, in particular a Vulcan-centric 3 parter, an episode about Khan's genetically engineerede relatives and a Mirror Universe tale.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mnOiE2s8X1Y&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mnOiE2s8X1Y&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Unfortunately, as good as this season was, saving the show required more than "good," if it was possible at all by this point. The ratings never recovered and <span style="font-style: italic;">Enterprise</span> became the only Trek series since the original to be cancelled prematurely. At least it went out with dignity though, actual series finale episode aside.<br /><br />Random Tidbit: In the new movie, when Scotty says he killed "Admiral Archer's poor beagle", that's a reference/making fun of this show. Enterprise's captain is a Cpt. Archer, and he has a pet beagle named Porthos. So Scotty killed Porthos! (tear)<br /><br />Best Episodes (all from the last season & a half):<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">- "Similitude"</span> (Tucker is mortally wounded, but Dr Phlox gets the idea to clone him via stem cell and harvest the clone's organs. naturally the clone objects. a relevant, well written and classic Star Trek story)<br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">"Cold Station 12" </span>(Khan's cousins wreck havoc, plot is nothing special, it's just surprisingly well made)<br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">"In a Mirror, Darkly" </span>(the origins of the Evil Mirror Universe from TOS)<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">- "Damage"</span> (while the Enterprise is dead in the water from the prior episode, T'Pol confronts a drug addiction)<br /><br />How it ends:<br />Really stupidly. But the second-to-last episode - the finale-in-spirit, is terrific.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Great Trek Drought of the Late 2000's</span><br />For the first time since the 70's there was no new Star Trek in regular production. Rumors flew around about a new movie in the works but coming so soon after Nemesis's failure, this seemed unlikely. Rick Berman, Trek exec producer since 1990, said Paramount had approached him about a new prequel film centering around the Romulan Wars, or something, and indeed a full script had been written by the author of Band of Brothers. Nothing ever came of it and the rumor mills grew ever more silent. Us Trekkies, as exhausted as the general public was after so much usually crappy oversaturation, felt that perhaps, after 40 years, the end had finally come. Star Trek had run its course, and it was time to let a new love take its place. Farscape, Stargate, Firefly, BSG... they all tried, but none could really capture lightning in a bottle quite the same way.<br /><br />Then we woke up one morning, and saw something like this headline on CNN:<br />"JJ ABRAMS, "LOST" TEAM TO HELM NEW STAR TREK MOVIE, MATT DAMON TO PLAY KIRK?"<br /><br />Whaaaaaatttttt???????Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-87068074239184948812009-05-06T13:50:00.000-07:002009-05-09T01:40:54.613-07:00Star Trek Retrospective III: 1992-2001<span style="font-weight: bold;">And Now, Something Completely Different<br /></span>As <span style="font-style: italic;">The Next Generation</span> began winding down, Paramount got to work on its replacement. A fresh approach was called for; something darker, something edgier. We'd seen two series of a crew exploring new places weekly in not-much-depth, what if there was a series that stayed in one place and explored its sole setting in very-much-depth? If <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek</span> & <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">TNG</span></span> were a "Wagon Train to the Stars," <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek: Deep Space Nine</span> (1992-1999) would be a "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Gunsmoke</span> in Space." Set on a far flung wild west space station (town) at the gateway of a crucial trade route, DS9 explored politics, war and character to a much deeper extent than its <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">predecessors could and featured a more heavily serialized story line</span>. For a variety of reasons, the show was a harder sell and lost much of TNG's massive audience but the quality never suffered. Like fine wine it just got better with each passing season as the arcs grew in complexity.<div><br /></div><div>With the best cast, the most complex characters, the best drama and an a certain someone named Garak, this is easily my favorite of the Trek shows. It is not necessarily better than TOS or TNG, merely a particularly good orange to their perfectly ripe apples. Where TNG established the utopian ideals of humanity's future, DS9 threw them all against a wall and saw what stuck. It's different, it's risky and it's rich.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;font-family:Arial;font-size:10;" ><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/dTgGtJ-PisA&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/dTgGtJ-PisA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object></span><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Best Episodes:</div><div>- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"The Visitor"</span> (Sisko is apparently killed in an accident but keeps reappearing to son Jake every ten years or so, who can't bring himself to let go. a father/son story that would have even frat-doucheys in tears)</div><div>- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"The Die Is Cast"</span> (exiled Garak is offered a return trip home if he assists in a Romulan & Cardassian assault on the Changeling homeworld. The changelings pwn them anyway)</div><div>- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Duet"</span> (Kira confronts her hatred of Cardassians when a Cardassian war criminal/concentration camp manager turns up on the station)</div><div> - <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Rocks & Shoals"</span> (the crew is marooned on a planet with an also-marooned platoon of enemy soldiers, who hate their leader and who the crew try to win over)</div><div>- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"In the Pale Moonlight" </span>(with the war going very badly, Sisko decides it's time to convince the stubborn Romulans to join. He sells his soul & enlists Garak's help, darkness ensues. This is one of my favorite TV episodes of all time.)</div><div>- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Taking Into the Wind" </span>(when Klingon leader Gowron starts mismanaging the troops & endangering the galaxy over a petty vendetta, Worf is ordered to do 'whatever it takes' to stop him, including treason)</div><div><br /></div><div>How it ends:</div><div>"It's like they always say: the more things change, the more they stay the same."</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">The Zenith</span></div><div>TNG was ending on a (ratings) high note, early-DS9 was still holding it's audience, and Kirk & Picard made it into the cover of Time Magazine. The next movie was rickety, but only because the producers had so much other success to manage...</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek Generations</span> (1994) - Passing the torch to the TNG crew, Kirk & Picard unite in a space-time-fiddly-doodly to stop a crazed scientist from destroying a star for this and that reason. Some good ideas and themes regarding aging, time and life regrets, all beautifully filmed, but it lacks drive. A boring & muddled affair.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;font-family:Arial;font-size:10;" ><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/h9hg0uMwUrI&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/h9hg0uMwUrI&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object></span><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Best Line:</div><div>"It was fun. Oh my..." - Kirk</div><div><br /></div><div>How it ends:</div><div>"Think they'll build another one?"</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">------</div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek: First Contact</span> (1996) - aka the one with the Borg. Learning from the mistakes of the previous movie, First Contact is a terse, efficient thrill ride that starts with a bang and... lets go at some points, but most of the time holds. There are a ton of great moments, every character gets something to do, and James Cromwell stumbles around drunk. Like <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The Wrath of Khan</span>, this is a B-movie cheesefest, but holy crap what an awesome one.</div><div><br /></div><div><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/kUWyAtqdwzc&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/kUWyAtqdwzc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>Best Line:</div><div>"Assimilate this." - Worf</div><div><br /></div><div>How it ends:</div><div>The Vulcans make first contact with human society: tequila shots and Steppenwolf.</div><div><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Things Start Going South</span></div><div style="text-align: left;">Only two years into <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Deep Space Nine</span>'s run Paramount decided it was time for yet another spinoff TV series. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek: Voyager</span> (1995-2001), the story of a ship flung into deep space a hundred years from home, ala Lost in Space, was born. Serve it would as the flagship series for then-new network-upstart UPN. Voyager has its fans (usually mutually exclusive from DS9 fans), I am not one of them. Distancing itself from the oft-hard drama and political intrigue of its cousin, Voyager went the summer blockbuster route and embraced stand alone action/adventure stories with little attention paid to character. This would be fine if it wasn't so damned dorky; Voyager is the epitome of every negative stereotype about Trek one could think of. It did do one good thing however: it drew the attention of the meddling execs away from DS9, which from the moment of Voyager's launch was pretty much allowed to do whatever it wanted storywise. Yay.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="white-space: pre;font-family:Arial;font-size:10;" ><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/uml3TvNKmB4&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/uml3TvNKmB4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object></span><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Best Episodes:</div><div style="text-align: left;">- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Timeless"</span> (Kim & Chakotay's experimental warp drive thing gets Voyager home but rips it apart in the process, they try to change history and reverse the mistake)</div><div style="text-align: left;">- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Scorpion"</span> (Janeway forges an alliance with the Borg so that they can both survive the onslaught of A SPEESEE!Z MOAR POWRFUL THEN TEH BORGZ! OMGZ)</div><div style="text-align: left;">- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Message in a Bottle"</span> (using alien technology, the crew is able to transmit the Doctor's hologram to home and finally let Earth know they're alive)</div><div style="text-align: left;">- <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Equinox" </span>(the crew finds another stranded Federation ship, this one using the bodies of some alien animal to propel itself home, making the animals really angry. it's actually pretty badarse)</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">How it ends:</div><div style="text-align: left;">Really stupidly.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">Yet Another Movie</span></div><div style="text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek: Insurrection</span> (1998) - Picard & crew must tamely rebel against an Admiral looking to steal a fountain-of-youth planet from its 600 inhabitants, for the good of the many. A light & sadly forgettable film with some cute moments. Would make for a good drinking game.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/WKGHuN5NoPo&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/WKGHuN5NoPo&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Best Line:</div><div style="text-align: left;">"Saddle up, lock and load." - Data</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">How it ends:</div><div style="text-align: left;">Everyone lives happily ever after.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Coming soon: Parts 4 & 5, 5 being the movie we're seeing tonight...</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-29248041519151877312009-05-05T22:35:00.000-07:002009-05-08T10:02:50.485-07:00Star Trek Retrospective II: 1987-1992<span style="font-weight: bold;">New Kids in Town</span><br />Paramount had been toying with the idea of bringing Trek back to the small screen for several years at this point, always ending in awry, but in the Year of Charles's Birth this second series finally came to fruition. <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek: The Next Generation</span> (1987-1994) was unveiled to audiences deeply skeptical of any attempt at filling the original crew's shoes, skepticism not unlike that faced by Connery's two replacements upon exiting the Bond role. Were Shatner & Nimoy <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek</span> or was the tale bigger than them? Thanks mainly to resident God Among Men Patrick Stewart, the latter was true.<br /><br />Skepticism aside, TNG was a ratings - albeit not critical - success right out of the gate and in fact pioneered a whole generation of syndication-only TV shows of dubious quality such as Hercules, Xena, the allegedly decent Babylon 5, et al which followed. Differences from the original series included a more "enlightened" crew with less in-drama (aka less characterization), an updated ship and a Shakespearean-trained Captain. The early years are laughably cheesy, like TOS but without the charm and the final two seasons derail again, but there's a stretch in the middle there of truly great television. TNG could be a bit sterile at times and certainly hasn't aged well, but its reputation and popularity are well deserved.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OOXT22Ghouw&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OOXT22Ghouw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Best Episodes:<br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">"The Inner Light"</span> (Picard is zapped by an alien probe from a long-dead civilization and given a lifetime of one of its scientist's memories)<br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">"Tapestry"</span> (Picard "dies", goes to heaven, finds out the Almighty is actually pesky omnipotent Q. Q offers Picard a chance to relive his life without regrets, Picard regrets the decision to do so)<br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">"Cause & Effect"</span> (the Enterprise is caught in a timeloop that keeps ending in its destruction, the crew must figure out how to plant clues for their next 'round' to escape the space-time-whatsit-loopy-doopy)<br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">"Chain of Command Pt. 2"</span> (Picard is captured by the Cardassians and tortured. features Stewart's classic "THEH AH FOUR LIGHTS!" line)<br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">"Measure of a Man" </span>(a douchey scientist wants to disect Data against his will, arguing that Data is a robot & has no rights. Data is put on trial to prove that he is in fact alive and deserves the same rights as everyone else)<br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">"Darmok<span style="font-style: italic;">" </span></span>(An alien captain w/severe language barrier strands himself & Picard on a planet with a nasty monster, hoping that the male-bonding experience will help their civilizations figure out how to communicate)<br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">"All Good Things..."</span> (the pitch-perfect series finale, Q puts humanity on trial for being a "dangerous, savage child race," Picard must prove him wrong)<br /><br />How it ends:<br />"Five card stud, nothing wild, and the sky's the limit."<br /><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-weight: bold;">Shatner Gets to Direct, Fail Ensues<br /></span>Meanwhile over on the movie lot, a fifth Trek film is put in the works:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek V: The Final Frontier</span><span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>(1988) - After Nimoy got to direct films 3 & 4, Shatner demanded the same chance. Armed with an ambitious story about a renegade Vulcan on a quest to literally find the Almighty, who apparently lives in a part of the Mohave Desert at the center of the galaxy, Shatner set to work. All manner of production problems ranging from budget cuts to a visual fx company that had quite noticeably no idea what they were doing fell upon him, resulting in a so-bad-it's-brilliant monstrosity. The plot is thin and riddled with holes, the look cheap, the dialogue bad... Scotty bonks his head & we're supposed to laugh... this is one of the stupidest, worst movies in the series. Still though, that character driven charm that makes the original gang so special is very much present. It's a fun train wreck to watch.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GlxzpWjM5Q8&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GlxzpWjM5Q8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Best Line:<br />"K'pagh pagh pagh, KEGH GINAB!" - Klingon Captain<br /><br />How it ends:<br />"Row row row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily merrily merrily merrily, life is but a dream."<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Gorbachev to the Rescue<br /></span><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country</span> (1991) - An aging Enterprise is dispatched on a not-so-subtle Cold War allegory mission to escort the Klingon Chancellor to Earth for peace negotiations. Thanks to a recent catalismic disaster (Chernobyl?), among other problems, the Klingon Empire has decided it can no longer afford hostility with the Federation and wants to make ammends. Kirk hates the Klingons and the Klingons hate him, but he accepts the mission anyway. Chaos on an epic scale ensues when the Chancellor is assassinated, seemingly by Kirk.<br /><br />With its dark, intelligent edge and relevant story, this could have been greater than Khan. Unfortunately some wild mischaracterizations from a suddenly alcoholic Chekov, an annoyingly angry Scotty (how do you make Scotty annoying?) and a racist Uhura (borderline heresy considering the significance her character has to the African American acting community) drag things down a notch or two or three. Still, the ideas & commentary are great and it's certainly the most far-reaching cinematic story Trek had tackled to this point. I respect it more than I enjoy it.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/638S8n2_Ab8&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/638S8n2_Ab8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Best Line:<br />"LET THEM DIE" - Kirk, in full Shatner glory<br /><br />How it ends:<br />A well-earned ride into the sunset. This is the last time we see the original crew together.<br /></div></div></div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-4937520512857621252009-05-05T09:36:00.000-07:002009-05-08T10:02:40.813-07:00Star Trek Retrospective I: 1966-1986Dude at Rotten Tomatoes is doing this retrospective thing where he spends each day leading up to May 8<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">th</span> watching the 10 Trek films for the first time and reviewing them, from a non-fan perspective. Thus, I copy him, albeit from a <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">mucho</span>-fan perspective & including the five TV series.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Dawn of Greatness<br /></span>We begin with <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek (The Original Series)</span>, airing on NBC from 1966-1969. Earnest and honest even at it's cheesiest, this is one of the more watchable, enjoyable TV dramas ever created. In the midst of a tumultuous decade, just as Science Fiction was taking a turn for the apocalyptic with <span style="font-style: italic;">Planet of the Apes</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Soylent</span> Green, </span><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">et</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">al</span>, <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek</span> presented denizens with hope. It envisioned a future where mankind has outgrown its petty differences and set out across the galaxy on a mission of peaceful exploration. Poverty, disease, and (human-vs-human) war have gone the way of Bubonic Plague. We're not saints, we're still driven by emotion and greed, but to a more controlled extent.<br /><br />At the end of the day though it was the characters that made this series the classic it became. Spock, Bones and Kirk, the logic, the emotion and the mediator respecitvely were all instantly-relatable<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6"></span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">badasses</span> who we loved to watch kick Klingon butt week after week. They were the original Bromance. If there was one reason Trek went off the rails in the past decade, it could be pinned on losing sight of that important fact: it's the characters, stupid.<br /><br />All in all, a flawed but rightfully beloved masterwork that was ahead of its time and relevant still today.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/avTfiRccYIA&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/avTfiRccYIA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Best Episodes:<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">- "City on the Edge of Forever" </span>(giant glowing donut sends a drugged Bones back in time, Spock & Kirk travel back to the 1930's to stop him)<span style="font-style: italic;"><br />- "Balance of Terror"</span> (the Enterprise must hunt down a rogue Romulan ship, gets pummeled)<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">- "Errand of Mercy"</span> (Kirk must convince a planet of pacifist hippies to resist a Klingon occupation, the hippies end up pwning both Kirk and the awesome Klingon captain)<br />- <span style="font-style: italic;">"The Trouble with Tribbles"</span> (revenge of the furballs)<br /><br />How it ends:<br />Cancelled abruptly after its 3rd season due to "low" ratings despite an Emmy nom for Best Dramatic Series. Neilsen calculated its ratings differently back then with less weight placed on demographics; it is said that had they calculated the way they started calculating just a year later, <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek</span> would've regularly cracked the top 10.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">"Cancelling that show was the worst mistake we ever made."<br /><span style="font-weight: bold;"></span></span>Almost imediately following its seeming-death, <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek</span> reruns rapidly found a massive audience in the "right as kids get home from school" syndication timeslot. Throughout the 70's it amassed more and more popularity to eventually absurd magnitudes. Paramount's eyes lit up. In Trek, they saw an opportunity to replicate Fox's then-recent success with Star Wars, thus was born:<span style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><br />The First Four Movies<br /></span><span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek: The Motion Picture</span> (1979) - Cobbled together from remnants of an abandoned Trek spinoff pilot, this ambitious monster was a respectable failure. It tried to be a Grand Cerebral SciFi Masterpiece (tm) in the vein of <span style="font-style: italic;">2001</span>, with a record-breaking budget to match, but <span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek</span> isn't <span style="font-style: italic;">2001</span>.<span style="font-weight: bold;"> </span>"It's the characters, stupid," which is where TMP goes awry. High-concept ideas about machines and humanity and pretty-looking spaceship models take precedence over emotion and leave us with little to do except watch the crew stand around the bridge looking really worried about the admittedly impressive visuals flashing by on the screen. The result isn't terrible persay, merely very boring and stilted. A robotic affair worth one viewing but not another.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/SwLrEcwtFM4&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/SwLrEcwtFM4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Best Line:<br />"V'ger!" - Ilia<br /><br />How it ends:<br />"The Human Adventure is Just Beginning" (with a box office tally clearly warranting a sequel)<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">------<br /></div><span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan</span> (1982) - That's more like it. Until allegedly now, this was Trek's one *great* classic movie. It's an old, simple tale of revenge, death, love and life... all character-oriented stuff that gets us back to what made the Original Series so great in the first place. The cast is back on their game, Shatner's voice echoes through eternity and our tears are undeniably jerked. It's clearly more of a campy B-movie than an Oscar vehicle, but there's no shame in that.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/EAAl2zfk684&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EAAl2zfk684&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />One of Countless Best Lines:<br />"Of all the souls I've encountered in my travels, his was the most... (with difficulty) ...human..." - Kirk<br /><br />How it ends:<br />One of cinema's singularly great death/funeral scenes.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">------<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek III: The Search for Spock</span> (1984) - Okay, a little bit bumpier of a ride here, but not terrible. Clearly struggling to fill Khan's big shoes, this film of mostly middling-quality salavages itself with one of the greatest 3rd acts in the series. Most of the time it's slow, cheap-looking and not all that interesting if you're unfamiliar with the mythology. When it finally takes off about 50min from the end it becomes suddenly unexpectedly AWESOME, like a switch was flipped, but never enough to redeem the hobbled beggining. Merits include a terrific, at times heart-wrenching performance from Shatner, some terrific one-liners and an intriguing mystical tone to the whole thing. Cons include the distracting Genesis Planet set and the aforementioned snooze-inducing first two-acts. A very mixed but lovable bag.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/A_SGXx3pLzs&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/A_SGXx3pLzs&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Best Line:<br />(in the aftermath of a kick-ass action piece)<br />Kirk: "My God Bones, what have I done?"<br /></div></div>Bones: "What you had to do, what you always do, turn death into a fighting chance to live."<br /><br />How it ends:<br />A "series finale" type ending + box office take warranting a further sequel:<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">------<br /><div style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-style: italic;">Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home</span> (1986) - aka "the one with the whales", as sleak as it is silly. After three sobering, bittersweet stories, in particular the 3rd one, it was time to lighten the mood. This is a straight "fish out of water" comedy with a lightweight save the Earth moral, chronicling the crew's hijincks in 1980's San Fran. It's also probably the best looking of the bunch with Oscar-garnering cinematography. My verdict: I'm more a fan of the sobering drama character stuff, so while I recognize that this is a clever, well made and funny film, I don't really love it. But other peeps might & do.<br /><br /><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/LaPVaBoAlf8&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/LaPVaBoAlf8&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object><br /><br />Best Line:<br />"Is this a time for another 'colorful metaphor'?" - Spock<br /><br />How it ends:<br />"Let's see what she's got..."<br /></div></div><br /><br />Further reviews in due time.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-36210140027880246902009-05-02T13:40:00.001-07:002009-05-02T17:40:58.571-07:00Batman / Robin: Overthinking the "Worst Superhero Movie of All Time"<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU5fQti3U8VMr8yTxDxDTdSPmL2F6p8LsumpX7wopO2CIDm-3712MIlYbJU6V7IAIsB_7XJiDkbIxCe4c8bSfO7WidgmmfLRUVKQLJCjlgJzBf5fPktApS1sWert2LSZweHleUzWDiVEp8/s1600-h/4_-_Batman___Robin__1997___13_-fanart.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 334px; height: 187px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiU5fQti3U8VMr8yTxDxDTdSPmL2F6p8LsumpX7wopO2CIDm-3712MIlYbJU6V7IAIsB_7XJiDkbIxCe4c8bSfO7WidgmmfLRUVKQLJCjlgJzBf5fPktApS1sWert2LSZweHleUzWDiVEp8/s320/4_-_Batman___Robin__1997___13_-fanart.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331312244347655330" border="0" /></a><br />Joel Schumacher’s 1997 film <a style="font-style: italic;" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Batman_&_Robin_%28film%29">Batman & Robin</a> is generally considered one of the worst films, or at least one of the worst superhero films, of all time. It currently suffers a measly 12% rating on the movie review website <a href="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/1077027-batman_and_robin/">Rotten Tomatoes</a> and a 28% on <a href="http://www.metacritic.com/video/titles/batmanandrobin">Metacritic</a>. Usually, such poor reception might be the result of the ineptitude on the part of the filmmaker to hone the formal elements of film to express anything of value. Upon closer inspection, however, <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman & Robin</span> actually reveals a consistent, singular vision. Given the fact that Schumacher is an openly gay filmmaker, one can assume that the film’s homosexual overtones are the product of the director’s own life experiences and worldview. In particular, the film acts as a commentary on gender and <a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF3daMTFLUWoAnlmMOD9PxJrhnqLBoqyEQ4NH0nBkbbd2XDkhpAJi4zHCSw4e9YSB8G24K9UvGQbTSJzQRezpfcNQ-f6qCk7_3kFWrLnX9J4Z9Q42K1num8WFWuNDd5QWIKVzYsTN036Fb/s1600-h/batman.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 204px; height: 244px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjF3daMTFLUWoAnlmMOD9PxJrhnqLBoqyEQ4NH0nBkbbd2XDkhpAJi4zHCSw4e9YSB8G24K9UvGQbTSJzQRezpfcNQ-f6qCk7_3kFWrLnX9J4Z9Q42K1num8WFWuNDd5QWIKVzYsTN036Fb/s400/batman.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331326810258821458" border="0" /></a>sexuality. <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman & Robin</span> serves as a utopian text favoring homosexuality, in which the characters that conform to the “normal” gender and sexual roles of mainstream society are depicted as deviant criminals incapable of meaningful relationships, while the heroes of the film subtextually exhibit gay tendencies and are ultimately able to form the strongest bonds of all.<br /><br />Each of the three villains in the film represents and satirizes a different aspect of heterosexuality whose gender and/or sexual roles can often be problematic. The primary villain, Mr. Freeze, exemplifies an individual in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, the standard in mainstream society. He rejects sexual advances by one of his henchwomen and is immune to Poison Ivy’s love pheromones. Freeze and his fidelity to his wife are twisted, however, as he is a criminal whose misdeeds are motivated by his unwavering obsession with curing her of a rare disease. Meanwhile, a scientific accident has rendered him unable to survive in anything but sub-zero temperatures, symbolizing his loss of emotion in a stagnant marriage. This is magnified by the fact that he must constantly steal diamonds in order to power his cryogenic suit and the machine that will presumably cure his wife, essentially showering her with an endless supply of jewelry. In other words, the character serves as a satire of conventional heterosexual relationships and the materialistic obligations that they often entail.<br /><br />Moreover, Freeze embodies the quintessence of traditional masculinity. The casting of Arnold Schwarzenegger is key in realizing this representation, as his canon of work consists mainly of high-adrenaline action films, a notoriously “male” genre. The actor boasts a considerably large muscular physique as the result of his former weightlifting career. Even Freeze’s former alias, Victor Fries, is mentioned as being a two-time Olympic decathlete. Both Schwarzenegger and his character are at the height of their physical form, often interpreted as a sign of manliness. In addition, Freeze’s henchmen resemble hockey players, skates and stic<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjzCWT8P-v183X8HBfKYrLLizxqecwczHrLxCBKGJmz5uzUOSejAJJiqNwAoqpk_v5aKY-USjfrfc7xjRsSqP6mxdl3L24TaDZwFphSoWke4L0ius1eqlpjYzhyphenhyphenLhLwAOw0ZkdnehUfqxo/s1600-h/villains-poster.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 215px; height: 318px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjzCWT8P-v183X8HBfKYrLLizxqecwczHrLxCBKGJmz5uzUOSejAJJiqNwAoqpk_v5aKY-USjfrfc7xjRsSqP6mxdl3L24TaDZwFphSoWke4L0ius1eqlpjYzhyphenhyphenLhLwAOw0ZkdnehUfqxo/s320/villains-poster.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331309432409800898" border="0" /></a>ks included, associating the villain with the typically male-dominated realm of physical sports. Freeze’s masculinity is perfectly illustrated when he offers a particularly chauvinist word of advice to a fellow villain, “No matter what they tell you, Mr. Bane, it is the size of your gun that counts.”<br /><br />If Freeze exemplifies the height of masculinity, Bane represents the dangers of masculinity gone awry. Perhaps a commentary on the use of performance-enhancing substances in athletic culture, the steroid-like “Venom” serum augments Bane’s strength to a ridiculous degree, transforming him into a mindless, obedient super-soldier. He works as a minion for the lustful seductress Poison Ivy and wears a mask that resembles the type of bondage suit associated with acts of sexual sadomasochism. Bane signifies a harmful side of sexuality, and his affiliation with Ivy resembles the problematic type of relationship based solely on physicality, as she only uses him for his muscle.<br /><br />Poison Ivy characterizes heterosexual promiscuity and lust. She is essentially a prostitute, even at one point auctioning off her own body at a charity ball. She and Bane both arrive at the rainforest-themed event in the guise of apes, symbolizing the primitive element of carnal desires. She is at one with the true nature of human beings, often declaring herself Mother Nature. With her seductive dance and hypnotic pheromone dust, Ivy is able to charm every male at the ball. She uses her concoctions to force men to do her bidding and kills them with her poisonous kiss. She effectively uses her body as a weapon, a fact impeccably represented when Ivy fixes her hair in the reflection of a knife in the middle of a fight scene. Ivy embodies the way in which sexuality can be misused for personal gain.<br /><br />Poison Ivy is also consistently associated with Christian imagery and diction throughout the film. This is significant in that Christianity has often been a factor in the argument against gay rights in American culture, in which homosexuality is often declared “unnatural” and in direct contradiction with the teachings of the Bible. As Ruth Hubbard explains in “The Social Construction of Sexuality,” “To fulfill the Christian mandate, sexuality must be intended for procreation, and thus all forms of sexual expression and enjoyment other than heterosexuality are invalidated” (52). As Ivy even warns one of her victims before killing him, “It’s not nice to fool with Mother Nature.” In terms of appearance, she resembles the traditional image of Eve from the book of Genesis, a nude woman with her private parts covered in leaves. Her lustful nature also recalls the notion of original sin, the eating of the forbidden fruit. Freeze even refers to himself and Ivy as “Adam and Evil” after she explains her plan to allow plants to reclaim the earth from humanity, to create a contemporary Eden and start anew. Ivy decries the corrupt state of the world as she ponders, “Why should only Batman and Robin die while the society that created them goes unpunished?” Assuming the two heroes are to represent homosexuality, it is as if Ivy is condemning the immorality of mankind as interpreted by the Bible. She contradicts herself, however, in that her sexual promiscuity also defies Christian values. It is this contradiction that delineates Ivy as a satire of the incongruities in the system of Christian beliefs.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy6gDQWvfrfJiy8HliUV-x_wHh7zoQ8TkgzPz2E0AtJjmD5R7XvwqALQ6wSoFdv-QnXhFAmBWoIMudmavUQpP0kuRwzZmaiHVULmM2rVltOVb2mFIx-s0DD3RvuU8SAPvPuT94kJxtVQxG/s1600-h/PoisonIvyKiss.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 315px; height: 177px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgy6gDQWvfrfJiy8HliUV-x_wHh7zoQ8TkgzPz2E0AtJjmD5R7XvwqALQ6wSoFdv-QnXhFAmBWoIMudmavUQpP0kuRwzZmaiHVULmM2rVltOVb2mFIx-s0DD3RvuU8SAPvPuT94kJxtVQxG/s400/PoisonIvyKiss.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331319901714289314" border="0" /></a><br /><br />Ivy’s complex relationships with the men of the film are of particular interest. Her partnership with Mr. Freeze functions as another failed heterosexual relationship of sorts. Though they share a hatred for Batman and Robin and plot to essentially conquer Gotham City, their super-abilities are in complete contradiction to one another. Freeze represents harsh winter conditions while Ivy symbolizes the thriving of plant life. Usually the two cannot coexist. The failure of their “marriage” is solidified in one of the final scenes, in which Ivy is sentenced to share a cell in prison with Freeze, doomed to a life of conjugal hell. Ivy’s relationships with Batman and Robin are also noteworthy, as they reveal the latent homosexuality and bisexuality of the characters, respectively. As she puts it, “Batface and Birdbrain turned out to be much more resistant to my love dust than expected.” If the two characters were to be interpreted as homosexual, such an aversion would make sense. This also problematically implies that sexual orientation and romantic attraction is merely biological and not acquired by experience or from external sources, a hypothesis that is difficult to verify. When Ivy increases the dosage of love dust, Batman and Robin begin to fight for her affections. Robin becomes irrationally jealous when Batman questions his attraction to her. “She has us fighting over her somehow,” Batman says, as if the fact that he is sexually attracted to a woman is unthinkable.<br /><br />The evidence that Batman is a closet homosexual is plentiful. Even George Clooney <a href="http://www.pinknews.co.uk/news/articles/2005-678.html">openly admits</a> to playing the character as a gay man. Though Bruce does have a girlfriend, Julie Madison, her only role is to conceal his true sexual orientation as his "beard." On several occasions, Bruce dodges questions about the issue of marriage with Julie, not only revealing his discomfort with the relationship, but also effectively making him a foil to the marriage-obsessed Mr. Freeze. Bruce struggles with his relationship with Julie because of his secretive lifestyle, the fact that he is a costumed crime-fighter and, likely, gay. “I know you’ve had your wild nights,” she excuses. “Wild doesn’t quite cover it,” Bruce says. The innuendo is clear.<br /><br />If fighting crime and homosexuality are to be associated with one another, one can assume that Batman harbors a romantic infatuation with Robin. From the first exchange of dialogue, Batman establishes his disapproval, perhaps jealousy, of the fact that Robin expresses an interest in women. “I want a car. Chicks dig the car,” Robin says. “This is why Superman works<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji6_GOKLB8GFTnrm0TiBv-3HtJJNwDOp1Aimn4Zl-r3muTAIE8WNz2v2yrLu46vyouSwujKnLbclGAws9LBHoBNPKXYCQo0IVlTZHa7RFLh_v7mL8XugQlpVV88UxoHs_FdKrf_kV6h0mV/s1600-h/batbed.png"><img style="margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; float: right; cursor: pointer; width: 263px; height: 224px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEji6_GOKLB8GFTnrm0TiBv-3HtJJNwDOp1Aimn4Zl-r3muTAIE8WNz2v2yrLu46vyouSwujKnLbclGAws9LBHoBNPKXYCQo0IVlTZHa7RFLh_v7mL8XugQlpVV88UxoHs_FdKrf_kV6h0mV/s400/batbed.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331321710943382626" border="0" /></a> alone,” Batman jokes in reply. He playfully chastises his young sidekick, or perhaps more appropriately, his “partner,” a somewhat loaded term mentioned multiple times to refer to their alliance. The two also argue constantly over the issue of trust, a common issue in romantic relationships, specifically when it comes to dealing with the threat of sexual infidelity. In this case, the threat is Poison Ivy, who remains the point of contention until Robin finally trusts Batman and tricks her with a pair of rubber lips to withstand her poisonous kiss.<br /><br />Comic book critic Frederic Wertham suggests in his book <span style="font-style: italic;">Seduction of the Innocent</span> that the original comic book characters of Batman and Robin are inherently homosexual. He writes, “Only someone ignorant of the fundamentals of psychiatry and of the psychopathology of sex can fail to realize a subtle atmosphere of homoeroticism which pervades the adventures of the mature ‘Batman’ and his young friend ‘Robin.’" He then comments on the fact that at home, the two characters “lead an idyllic life. They are Bruce Wayne and ‘Dick’ Gray- son. Bruce Wayne is described as a ‘socialite’ and the official relationship is that Dick is Bruce's ward. They live in sumptuous quarters, with beautiful flowers in large vases, and have a butler, Alfred. […] It is like a wish dream of two homosexuals living together.” Wertham would surely criticize the questionable nature of Bruce and Dick’s living situation in Schumacher’s films. In <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman Forever</span>, Bruce takes Dick in, despite the fact that he appears to be in his mid-twenties, clearly not a child as in the comics, and therefore does not require a legal guardian. In <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman & Robin</span>, Dick still lives with Bruce. To the outsider, their relationship might more closely resemble a homosexual one rather than a mere friendship or father-son bond.<br /><br />While Batman exhibits latent gay tendencies, the depiction of Robin expresses much more confusion in terms of sexual orientation, aligning more with bisexuality than homosexuality. As Robert Lang argues in <span style="font-style: italic;">Masculine Interests: Homoerotics in Hollywood Film</span>, it is Robin, “more than Batman—in keeping with biology’s imperative that younger men be more driven by sexual desire than older men—who finds himself responding helplessly to [Poison Ivy’s] toxic allure” (238). His sexual confusion allows him to explore the possibility of romance with a woman rather than continue his homoerotic relationship with Batman. Ivy urges Robin to “’forget the geriatric bat! Come join me—my garden needs tending’—as if the sexual interest she is inviting Robin to take in her were simply the flip side of his interest in Batman” (238). His affections are torn throughout the film by several characters.<br /><br />Batgirl, also known as Barbara Wilson, serves as another potential romantic possibility for Robin. He marvels at her beauty when she first arrives at Wayne Manor, and curiously follows her when she sneaks out at night. It is worth noting that the filmmakers alter the character’s background from the original comics. The character is normally Barbara Gordon, the daughter of Batman’s ally, police commissioner James Gordon, but in the film her name is changed so that she is the niece of Bruce’s butler Alfred, the surrogate father of Bruce, and by default, Dick. Because of this familial connection, Barbara is off limits to Dick. Indeed, she is treated as more of a sibling in the dynamic of the Bat-family rather than a romantic interest, especially since Dick and Barbara never share an onscreen kiss.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8STK_t435U_8QR3RePWRx3CRriUu5J5-I-gcURr9GP9LpUZc8BcT93lE-EKjfSJkAP6NjjcQrqeF82iDom-3j5HQnTrB2YQds6EH3u3UHY25lNfuWomc89HGW9Q_cfI9ebCrG4TqL_xDD/s1600-h/3068797952_0868796974.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 299px; height: 200px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi8STK_t435U_8QR3RePWRx3CRriUu5J5-I-gcURr9GP9LpUZc8BcT93lE-EKjfSJkAP6NjjcQrqeF82iDom-3j5HQnTrB2YQds6EH3u3UHY25lNfuWomc89HGW9Q_cfI9ebCrG4TqL_xDD/s400/3068797952_0868796974.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331324091872994946" border="0" /></a><br />Another reason Barbara may be romantically unavailable to Dick is that she could be interpreted as a lesbian, offering a female homosexual perspective to the heroes of the film. Barbara never shows any interest in Dick, despite his curiosity in her. Moreover, she is interested in traditionally “male” activities like motorcycle-racing and fighting crime. In the climactic final battle, conventional gender roles are reversed when a falling Robin plays the “damsel in distress” and Batgirl saves him with her grappling hook. She also one-ups her fellow crime-fighter when she succeeds in figuring out how to redirect a series of satellites to unfreeze the city. “You’re pretty good at this, little girl,” Robin quips. “Watch and learn, little boy,” she replies. She is essentially a better superhero than Robin, which is significant given the fact that comic books and comic book movies are dominated by male heroes.<br /><br />The fact that <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman & Robin</span> serves as a homosexual allegory within the superhero genre is noteworthy, as it represents a “subversion and appropriation of mainstream media.” Schumacher takes an extremely popular character from an increasingly prevalent genre, and transforms them both to fit his own personal vision. Given the reins of the Batman franchise after Tim Burton’s two comparatively darker installments, Schumacher chose to take the series in a decide<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPHIBPSpgjTBHu9y0CaFUIFJApeX12Daj7qbW38TXsPiDz-N5CJKBkg3nRvW_MPVoH3lcsZhdcaNY5cwjqtwbqHRspGfL3uWlffK28ZNZ_WqEdE4RfDBUrIzhQwXrcxtVNdSyfkoKKz0lh/s1600-h/batman90s80mg.jpg"><img style="margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; float: left; cursor: pointer; width: 193px; height: 237px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhPHIBPSpgjTBHu9y0CaFUIFJApeX12Daj7qbW38TXsPiDz-N5CJKBkg3nRvW_MPVoH3lcsZhdcaNY5cwjqtwbqHRspGfL3uWlffK28ZNZ_WqEdE4RfDBUrIzhQwXrcxtVNdSyfkoKKz0lh/s320/batman90s80mg.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5331324994188825026" border="0" /></a>dly campier direction (much like the 60s Adam West series), first with <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman Forever</span> and even more so with <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman & Robin</span>. The dialogue consists almost entirely of clichéd one-liners and bad jokes, such as Batman’s “You break it, you buy it,” or Mr. Freeze’s “Let’s kick some ice!” As Larry Gross outlines in his essay, “Out of the Mainstream,” “the classic gay (male) strategy of subversion is camp,” an attempt to undermine mainstream media’s often negative representations of homosexuals, among other minorities. “The sting can be taken out of oppressive characterizations and the hot air balloons of official morality can be burst with the ironic weapon of camp humour” (68).<br /><br />This film also uses the convention of good versus evil inherent in comic books as a weapon against mainstream representations of gender and sexuality. Simply put, the good characters are homosexual while the evil characters are heterosexual. As such, the film serves as a utopian vision of a world in which homosexuals emerge victorious, pointing out the contradictions of heterosexual tradition. Schumacher utilizes the formal techniques of cinema to establish this gay utopia, specifically through the emphasis on and idealization of the male body. His Gotham City consists of godlike, skyscraper-sized nude statues over which the heroes and villains chase each other. Such figures also adorn Bruce Wayne’s mansion as well as the museum at the beginning of the film, cementing the motif. The influence of nude figures even finds its way into the costume design of the film. In the documentary <span style="font-style: italic;">Shadows of the Bat: The Cinematic Saga of the Dark Knight Part 6: Batman Unbound</span>, Schumacher explains that the nipples, robust rear ends, and large codpieces on Batman and Robin’s costumes are inspired by “Greek statues that have perfect bodies” and are “anatomically erotic.” Close-ups accentuate these features during montage sequences in which the heroes suit up to go battle evil. The male body is literally in the face of the viewer.<br /><br />Perhaps it is this utopian vision of homosexuality that turned mainstream viewers off of <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman & Robin</span>, causing the bombardment of harsh criticism. The traditional language of film is often constructed for heterosexual understanding, so any alternative would naturally alienate viewers. The film ultimately undermines the conventions of the heterosexual mainstream, which is likely the reason for its embarrassing legacy. It is misunderstood. Perhaps the relatively homophobic majority is simply not ready for films like <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman & Robin</span> that challenge the standard in terms of gender and sexuality.<br /><br /><center><object height="344" width="425"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/zS9A4ZIsndc&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/zS9A4ZIsndc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" height="344" width="425"></embed></object></center>Cam Siemerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09385052738713733553noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-6762922299792657752009-04-30T17:12:00.000-07:002009-04-30T18:56:20.981-07:00Norm MacDonald: Talk Show Guest (Volume One, Issue Two)<span style="font-size:85%;"><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br />With Conan O’Brien’s departure from the Late Night spot and ascension to the coveted seat at the Tonight Show desk, late night television would seem to be at a crossroads of sorts. Jimmy Fallon, Conan’s replacement, doesn’t seem to be much of a host (I won’t turn this into a rant against Fallon, but I simply can’t understand why someone whose major contribution to comedy is breaking character in more sketches than any other SNL cast member would earn the Late Night spot, but I digress) and, frankly, the rest of the late night lineup looks rather bleak: Craig Ferguson is decent at best, Jimmy Kimmel is marginally funny yet somewhat lacking in monologue and interview skills, Letterman and Leno are on auto-pilot, and Carson Daly is Carson Daly.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />The remaining late night shows, O’Brien’s program and the Stewart/Colbert combo on Comedy Central, are certainly funny, but aren’t without their problems. As much as I like them, these shows are firmly entrenched in their ways, all following their respective formats to the bitter end: O’Brien is straight-forward late night with a self-deprecating twist, Stewart is a half-hour of SNL’s “Weekend Update” and Colbert is more of the same, except with a satirical character at the helm. Is it too much to ask to demand something entirely new out of late night television?</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />While the talk show isn’t known as being the most innovative of television forms, it has certainly seen its fair share of creative innovations over the years. Letterman added a sarcastic edge to the interview portion and incorporated surreal humor into his sketches, Conan further developed the surrealism that Letterman introduced while adding a bit of self-deprecation, and Colbert, in perhaps the most drastic innovation to date, injected the concept of character-based, satirical humor into what had previously been a straight-forward format. These developments are all well and good, but two of these three shifts occurred at least 15 years ago, and even Colbert’s more recent manipulations of the form are starting to wear thin, especially in an America that is shifting further and further towards the political left with each passing day (in turn, pushing Colbert’s satire of the right further and further away from cultural relevancy).</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />On top of all of this, late night TV simply doesn’t draw the audience that it once did. With Cartoon Network’s foray into the realm of late night programming with their Adult Swim programming block, much of the young, sleep-deprived audience that was once the bread and butter of major network talk shows are now watching cable, while the rest of that audience seem to simply turn their sets off at the end of The Colbert Report. As a lifelong fan, it pains me to say this, but late night television, like its primary viewer base, is rapidly growing old and out of touch.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />Who, then, will save us from this tedious death march of late night programming? Will Jimmy Fallon shed his cloying, oh-so-cute-and-bumbling persona in favor of a legitimately funny comedic voice? Will Jimmy Kimmel stop trying so hard to get laughs? Will Carson Daly develop a personality?</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />No, I would argue that the savior of late night is not any of the aforementioned hosts, or even a host at all, but is instead a man who has salvaged many a doomed talk show segment. Ladies and gentleman, without further adieu, I give you Norm MacDonald: Talk Show Guest.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />To some, MacDonald might seem a strange choice to breathe new life into the ailing format, especially given his resume to date. Norm’s greatest career accomplishment is undoubtedly his tenure as host of SNL’s “Weekend Update,” a job from which he was unceremoniously fired by then-head of NBC Don Ohlmeyer for being “unfunny.” Since that time, Norm’s output has been limited to one entertaining box-office flop, a rash of mediocre sitcoms and films, and a massive mound of gambling debt.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />But it isn’t so much Norm’s body of work that interests me, as much as it’s his promotional appearances in support of that work. Take this clip from Conan, for example:<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/GoLm-vD89SQ&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/GoLm-vD89SQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />Shown here saving a struggling young Conan from himself, Norm demonstrates his uncanny ability to step in and deliver comedic gems with precise timing and a sort of nonchalant delivery that disguises the formidable genius at work behind the scenes. I would argue that the reason Norm’s career went the way that it did wasn’t due to a lack of a sense of humor or creativity, but a lack of material to spontaneously riff on. Norm is at his funniest when he’s making a mockery of absolutely anything. Whether it’s Carrot Top, the tacky, self-promotional world of late night television or the decline of comedy roasts, he needs something to wage war on (so to speak).</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />I could say more about this, but I’d rather show you:<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><object style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: georgia;" width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/hLllujNEs88&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/hLllujNEs88&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />Rife with awkward pauses and hackneyed punch lines, Norm’s appearance on <span style="font-style: italic;">The Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget</span> was an attack on the entire institution of the modern roast. Where Friars Club roasts were once legitimate events that naturally emerged out of the industry’s desire to pay respect to its elder statesmen, the modern version feels like an advertisement for the newest episode of <span style="font-style: italic;">Comedy Central Presents</span> and features such A-list comedians as Greg Giraldo lampooning showbiz legends like Flavor-Flav. Without saying so much as a word to challenge the roast itself, Norm manages to highlight just what a farce the entire show has become, mocking the institution with a straight face and a list of jokes that could easily have been written by Jack Benny in 1950.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />Through this irreverent sensibility, Norm has become the voice of viewers who grew up watching televised comedy and, frankly, want to point out just how ridiculous it can be. A relatively simple concept, yet his bumbling, unassuming delivery lends it a certain genuine quality. It’s almost as though we, as the viewers, aren’t quite sure whether Norm is conscious of just how brilliant his delivery really is or not. He could be a genius, or he might be like an innocent child wandering through the mall commenting on the many physical deformities of the passers-by, all the while inadvertently delivering a brilliant comedic set right in front of the Cinnabon (premise for that comparison blatantly stolen from Norm’s appearance on <span style="font-style: italic;">Dennis Miller Live</span>… sorry, Norm).</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />Best served by absolute freedom and spontaneity, Norm could shine amidst a late night lineup that, frankly, lacks much of an audience. Rigid structure and stuffy formats do nothing but hinder Norm’s considerable talent, so where better to experiment than on a late night show that nobody would watch? As late comedian Mitch Hedberg observed when told he could swear on satellite radio during the early days of the format, “No shit…You can swear in the woods, too.” Without a stable audience, late night is the perfect testing ground for experimental comedy. Rather than rehashing the same, tired formats with different hosts, why not test out something a little different?</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />Now, don’t get me wrong here, I’m not suggesting that Norm should simply take a seat at a desk and ask people like Pete Wentz fascinating questions about their various pets— if Norm were to ever enter into the late night game, he’d have to do so in a characteristically irreverent fashion. Given his abilities as a talk show guest, why not toy with the format and play to Norm’s strengths? Rather than Norm hosting the show, why not bring guest hosts in to lead the program, with Norm as the perennial guest and interviewee, allowing him to simply take a seat and essentially riff and do what he does best? The somewhat creative manipulation of the relatively strict and uptight talk show format would be sure to draw attention, not only from traditional media outlets, but from blogs, forums and anywhere else that young media nerds tend to congregate (Cough). And lord knows Norm has more than enough in the way of famous comedian friends, making the entire concept surprisingly plausible.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />Obviously, this is a bit of a far-fetched pipe dream and wouldn’t be without its obstacles. The first and most glaring issue with this idea is simply the possibility that the show would quickly grow tired and repetitive with only Norm as a guest. While I do have faith in his ability to innovate, especially given the sort of freedom afforded to post-Letterman and Leno programs, I can’t deny that this is a reasonable concern. My only answer to that might be to make it a weekly program (so as to give the producers more time to prepare for each individual show) , but I still have to concede that this idea is A. likely to be short-lived at best and B. a hilariously unrealistic fantasy concocted by me, a rabid Norm MacDonald fan.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />Perhaps the greatest obstacle to this idea, aside from its lack of any grounding in reality, is an age gap that I suspect has already burned Norm once. More on that after a couple clips:<br /><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/otai1BhLSSM&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/otai1BhLSSM&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /><br /><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/oAESooUHrNg&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/oAESooUHrNg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span><span style="font-size:130%;"><br /></span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />Aside from being hilarious, these clips illustrate what I think has been Norm’s repeated downfall up to this point: his lack of resonance as funny with anyone above a certain age. Both Barbara Walter’s befuddlement at Norm’s unique comic timing and delivery and his anecdote about the Friars Club card game seem to reiterate the fact that older people like Don Ohlmeyer just don’t “get” Norm. While they may recognize that others find him hilarious, something about his lack of respect for established norms (Hah) of comedy, whether it’s an embrace of anti-humor or a sarcastic, dry delivery, just doesn’t seem to land with the older generation. And ultimately, that’s likely a major factor in Norm’s somewhat lackluster career following his firing from SNL. As long as studio executives have gray hair and remember Abbott and Costello, it’s going to be hard for Norm to find work, especially if he’s presented with half-baked ideas for inverted talk shows concocted by an unemployed college student.</span><span style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);font-family:georgia;font-size:130%;" ><br /><br />The fact is that studios like to know their money is safe, and to a corporate structure what’s worked in the past is what works; Norm, unfortunately, hasn’t worked and as a (horrible) result, is absent from the airwaves. As great as it would be to see Norm shake up late night, it likely isn’t in the cards, despite my arbitrary efforts to write a bunch of words urging that very thing. That being said, if Norm CAN find some way to overcome this age gap and convince executives that he is one of the most unique comedic voices of the past ten to fifteen years, I strongly believe he is poised to become the new king of late night television. Or, at the very least, the new court jester. And in a court occupied by the likes of Conan and Letterman, jester isn’t a bad role at all.<br /><br /></span><br /><span style="font-family:georgia;"><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/0IgD32TVWaQ&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/0IgD32TVWaQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></span><p></p></span><p></p>Flemhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02112086927613351234noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-72670860572162266292009-04-27T16:22:00.000-07:002009-04-28T17:01:51.584-07:00Potent Quotables #3 (Volume One, Issue Two)<div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 20px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(An erratically maintained feature in which we share resonant quotations and pay homage to the most durable of all SNL-</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Jeopardy</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> categories)</span></span><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Hopefully this quadruple-header speaks for itself. Theory and practice:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Interviewer: What is the most important thing in rock n roll?<br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">John Lennon: The most important thing is to just to be here now.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Yeah, yeah, yeah!! C'mon!! C'mon!! C'mon!!"<br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">-Oasis, "Be Here Now," </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Be Here Now</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> LP</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"That was a record meant to be listened to on </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">that day</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">. That's all it was."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">-Noel Gallagher, 2009 (responding to suggestions of pulling a </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Let It Be...Naked</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> on his polarizing third album, </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Be Here Now</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">)</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"It was </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Alice in Wonderland</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> meets </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Apocalypse, Now</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">-</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 19px; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Michael Spencer Johns, Oasis' primary photographer through 1997, commenting on the photo shoot for </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Be Here Now</span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); "><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgnQwV5kCHd0j96nUgaSWbqqZRDUWF2N4qJ36llKBApPj-PBKiCizrv1LziDJq0MZPxichix2IvHW6XI65QuZFZWMPx6UjAgnYOJhNf067hgGZdY6EZcFGoXCU7AlZtKme559uti2OAvdM/s400/Oasis-Be-Here-Now-Delantera.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5329521195227787938" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 400px; " /></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-small;">Note the giant calendar marking the album's release date of August 21, 1997 in the foreground</span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span><span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238);"><br /></span></div>Eric Wheelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08224914551422412880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-88556608576825357322009-04-21T19:03:00.000-07:002009-04-28T16:57:09.907-07:00Shove This Blender Up Your Ass You Hipster Scum (Volume One, Issue Two)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxs5_1B4JJhBfAHYC2mxtZKeQGIgk1GP6QR5crupNvsMaY5_Z9DFNtGxv5_FfEqrFeGifvAhXN009e8zO0EN7v0biGt9v6P6zU2yKlWiQNhPGLTOsmWQhvllutG89fSqofOo1qNihITu0/s1600-h/cat_blender1192817257891.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 228px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxs5_1B4JJhBfAHYC2mxtZKeQGIgk1GP6QR5crupNvsMaY5_Z9DFNtGxv5_FfEqrFeGifvAhXN009e8zO0EN7v0biGt9v6P6zU2yKlWiQNhPGLTOsmWQhvllutG89fSqofOo1qNihITu0/s320/cat_blender1192817257891.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327335137281918274" /></a><br /><br /><br />It's 6:44 in the morning, and I'm writing this, my virgin post, from a Starbucks. If I had known that Starbucks opened at 5am, I would have been here sooner. But alas, at 5am when I tried calling them using IP-Relay the operator refused to sit through the eighth ring. If they hadn't been such an impatient cunt I would have gotten through. Oh well.<br /><br />If you're wondering why I was using a public service for the deaf to try to call Starbucks in the early hours of the morning rather than using an actual phone, stop it. I'm way past the point where I would normally explain myself. My back hurts, I haven't slept in over 24 hours, and the prick at this place told me that soy milk tastes better than actual milk in lattés. It doesn't.<br /><br />So here I am, drinking this inferior coffee product, while I look around at the typical early morning Starbucks crowd. Aside from the girl with the huge eye sitting across from me, I assume that all of these people are boring paper pushers desperately hoping the line for recently thawed fusion pastries and inferior coffee product never ends. When it does I'm sure they'll be compelled to schlep off to some eternal hell on the fifth floor where they spend the day wondering what life could have been if only they had gotten the orange-mango-danish-breakfast sandwich with sausage instead of the blueberries and shit coffeecake. There's always tomorrow, they'll say. But I know they'll stick with blueberries and shit. If anyone in here had it in them to order what they wanted, then at least one person would be smiling.<br /><br />Fuckers.<br /><br />Luckily, I Heard It Through the Grape Vine just came on, and if I close my eyes I can pretend I'm in my damp car listening to the oldies station. No not the CCR cover you ignorant normie redneck. This is the thick, juicy, slathered in fat ass soul, cut from Gladys Knight and the Pips. No it isn't as good as the Marvin Gaye version, but do you think the slobs that buy their music at Starbucks know that?<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OyA_DNw2vyg&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OyA_DNw2vyg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><br />I must be one lucky jerk, because Fleet Foxes just came on. It reminds me of something, but in this state of sleep deprivation I can't recall what exactly. Something important, or at least relevant.<br /><br />Oh right. Some time ago my hard drive up and committed The Big S. There wasn't any warning. Maybe I didn't treat it well enough. I don't know what the protocol for laptop care and maintenance is. I assumed that the things were supposed to be bulletproof so that journalists could have online dick measuring contests while reporting from the front lines of wherever. Or at some concert. I don't know, journalists go through some tough shit.<br /><br />In a misguided attempt to right the wrong I paid some mac shop a hundred bucks to tell me that all of my music, scripts, pictures of cats, etc. was gone forever. Then like the novice consumer I am, I bought another aluminum monstrosity, and this time bought a fifty dollar plastic cover to protect it. This handy plastic cover will surely make my computer happier. This happened about a year ago, and because I'm a lazy consumer n00b I haven't put any music on this thing.<br /><br />I got tired of manually adding stuff to my Songza play list pretty early on, and was glad to see that Pitchfork had made a top 100 list on Songza. Just click it, and listen to 100 songs chosen by the premier taste makers for un-athletic, bourgeois offspring of the people who were too lame to take drugs in the 60's. Sounds great right? Well it isn't bad. True to their persona, Pitchfork made sure to include a little of everything, and two of Kanye West. It's going to be a nice day in hell when you all realize that he's a crack baby.<br /><br />Okay that isn't fair, because for some reason they also included two Vampire Weekend tracks and two Crystal Castles tracks. So you like Vampire Weekend and Crystal Castles. Whatever. I don't care. That isn't even the point I was trying to make. Those acts are both good, just like everyone one here.<br /><br />Oh damn it. The girl with the big eye left, and she didn't throw out the napkin she's been scribbling all over. I don't know why, but I really wanted to see that napkin. I would have posted a pic of it here and then this wouldn't have been a complete waste of your time. As a consolation prize, I will now Google image search for, "big eye girl napkin," and post the first pic.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh7oPI9RmSbtCtIcioNOyCY0IeSCq6lWbzAlbqxCSd-LD0nxTBJctSX5G23g3JBIXZx7SNllOvQAgHfZ5IHZIMaz__2CjPcQTjbW2CX5Aet9kiqHvI6MxVD99t2io-BfaY3wHcidnXN9Q/s1600-h/bigeyegirlnapkin.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhh7oPI9RmSbtCtIcioNOyCY0IeSCq6lWbzAlbqxCSd-LD0nxTBJctSX5G23g3JBIXZx7SNllOvQAgHfZ5IHZIMaz__2CjPcQTjbW2CX5Aet9kiqHvI6MxVD99t2io-BfaY3wHcidnXN9Q/s320/bigeyegirlnapkin.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5327334819937538434" /></a><br /><br /><br />Well what do you know? It sucks. Better luck next time.<br /><br />Right so back to the inferior Motown version of Heard it Through the Grape Vine and how it was a welcome rest to my demoralized ears. The pitchfork top 100 list isn't bad, but I continually felt myself wondering just what the Illinois jerk offs were basing their rankings on, so I went to the site to check out their reviews.<br /><br />Why did I do this? Didn't I know I would get lost in a sea of misplaced nostalgia, and flagrant misuse of the word irony? You would think that, but somehow I always manage to forget how terrible the writing is, and how obnoxious the fairly thorough reporting still manages to be. Much like this fat sucker who has now had four apple something or others and a huge plastic cup full of what looks like whipped cream and muddy water, I keep going back to stuff my eye holes with shit that will probably make me retarded.<br /><br />I trudged through the reviews. Skimmed a few. I got what I came for, and no not punishment from hipsters. All this music on this list. Every last fucking song on this 100 song list is blended bullshit. "_______'s new album is a fresh blend of ______ and ______."<br /><br />Oh good. Just what I need to get some excitement into my life, a refreshing blend of old stale music. You know what this new Assfuckers album needs? A hint of summer. Has the music industry become a fucking juice bar? A juice bar run by a counterculture that defines it's self through meaninglessness? No none of the stuff on the Pitchfork top 100 play list is bad, but none of it is anything new either. There are only so many ways that you can mix beach boys harmonies with dance beats!<br /><br />Maybe it's just me. Maybe I'm overreacting, but I had to say something. The realization that making music has come down to picking two pre-existing genres and throwing them into a mental blender made me want to throw up. I looked at about 15 pitchfork reviews and counted 8 uses of this blending definition. "So basically, if you're looking for a mix between two different things, you're in luck." Fuck that.<br /><br />And fuck this.<br /><br />Some Asian dude in swim trunks just gave his girl a mango-raisin sandwich with a love note hidden inside. She went nuts. I have to take a shit, and there is a line for the bathroom.RHKhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11333101850598458442noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-87057988854687219012009-04-13T20:04:00.001-07:002009-04-14T03:17:05.853-07:00Underappreciated Appreciations #1 - Oasis (Volume One, Issue Two)<div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyb4DiAHssgLJ4SsPOXV_mTrtYXsgobg8Gm8FOZwj9AOR0mw0B23mipphaTEMdlHvx7wZOvTP3B1BPAgc_egJNF5ppr_UR_w8t9tiKXe4VA2qviAyTNlcAmYgxnNGFvEZjrP9b5RcmxFY/s1600-h/oasis+2000s+3.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 267px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyb4DiAHssgLJ4SsPOXV_mTrtYXsgobg8Gm8FOZwj9AOR0mw0B23mipphaTEMdlHvx7wZOvTP3B1BPAgc_egJNF5ppr_UR_w8t9tiKXe4VA2qviAyTNlcAmYgxnNGFvEZjrP9b5RcmxFY/s400/oasis+2000s+3.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324457772092727282" /></a><br />As per the suggestion of Daren Urban "Urbane" Sprawls, I have decided to publish the liner notes I recently wrote for an Oasis mix comprised exclusively of post-<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Morning Glory</span> tracks. Although I do cheat somewhat by including a handful of songs from <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The Masterplan</span>, an album that came out in 1998 but is comprised of songs from 1994 to 1997. I also break my own rules right off the bat with the inclusion of the "Wibbling Rivalry" excerpt which was recorded before the <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Morning Glory</span> album, but released soon afterwards. I must confess that my desire to make the best possible compilation of less-heralded Oasis songs overwhelmed my desire to follow my own arbitrary rules. My real goal here was to illuminate the ever-expanding back catalogue of what I think is the greatest contemporary rock band (Radiohead being an "alternative" or "experimental" rock band, Animal Collective being whatever it is they are, Arcade Fire not being particularly good, etc.) The idea is that you listen to these selections and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">then</span> you go back and you listen to "Rock N Roll Star" or "Some Might Say" or "Wonderwall" or "Slide Away" or "Live Forever" or "Champagne Supernova" or "Don't Look Back in Anger' or"Cigarettes and Alcohol" or "Morning Glory" or "Cast No Shadow" or "Supersonic." The very thought is staggering. <div><br /></div><div>No, Oasis are not risk-taking, genre-busting explorers of the sonic avant-garde nor have they always made the best decisions as to album track listings (the story of Oasis b-sides is the story of a pop music kingdom deferred). But what Oasis <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">have</span> done is assembled the strongest and deepest catalogue of good or even great pop/rock songs of the last fourteen years (as well as two nearly perfect albums in <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Don't Believe the Truth </span>and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Dig Out Your Soul</span>). And as Charles Mingus once said, "Creativity is more than just being different. Anybody can plan weird; that's easy. What's hard is to be as simple as Bach. Making the simple, awesomely simple, that's creativity."</div><div><br /></div><div>Oasis represent an ideal that has never actually existed: a blending of T-Rex and Burt Bacharach or the Sex Pistols and the Kinks or the Smiths and Slade. They've been called everything from "the greatest melodist of his generation" (Noel) to "the greatest singer in rock n roll" (Liam) to monobrowed morons (both). Depending on your point of view they're either gifted classicists or fame-hungry plagiarists. I only hope that you can get beyond these associations, both positive and negative, and simply listen with fresh ears. And I hope you're still enjoying the mix, Urban.<span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;"><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:24px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:48px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: normal; font-size:16px;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJGGmyCELUMVueSih0lowwuiTfvgDI3FzHak3akODxce3_eLAwTe5t8vmGo1DIJkG6ACoLK3r5oRglm6zh27MxEWlTCt26sD2CJQWfvkn2MAup3IRAjRpofg8xB0AoNmvvqzBQws_VDSo/s1600-h/OASIS_DVD_Cover-730296.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJGGmyCELUMVueSih0lowwuiTfvgDI3FzHak3akODxce3_eLAwTe5t8vmGo1DIJkG6ACoLK3r5oRglm6zh27MxEWlTCt26sD2CJQWfvkn2MAup3IRAjRpofg8xB0AoNmvvqzBQws_VDSo/s400/OASIS_DVD_Cover-730296.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324479535620399602" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 306px; height: 400px; " /></a></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:x-large;">The Whole 'Story' - Pt. 1</span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>1) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Wibbling Rivalry</span> - "Noel's Track" (excerpt - 4:07 to 5:03)</span></div><div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=";font-size:medium;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Although recorded well before the </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Morning Glory </span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">sessions (in April, 1994, to be exact), this “spoken word” EP was not released until late 1995, in the warm afterglow of “Wonderwall.” It is a testament to just how fucking gigantic the band were at this point that a CD containing 14 minutes of oft-unintelligible rants reached number 52 on the singles chart in Great Britain. While this meager minute offers ample evidence of why the Gallaghers are so loathed by many (Noel’s whiny insistence, Liam’s non-musical enthusiasms), it also gives a glimpse as to why they are adored by equally as many. Noel’s witty rebuttal to Liam’s assertion that the Sex Pistols are the greatest band of all time (“they made one album”) and his idealistic view of rock n roll is as endearing as Liam’s unbridled enthusiasm for whatever he happens to be doing at the moment, whether it’s crooning or being thrown off a ferry. If the best art is a result of a perpetual conflict then perhaps this excerpt will provide context to the work of a band which is consistently at war with itself. Whether it’s Liam roaring and sneering over a standard-issue chord progression, Noel stealing the vocal spotlight (at which point Liam literally exits the stage during live performances) or Liam mutating Noel’s words into a language all it’s own (“shine” becoming a 4-syllable word), it’s an unyielding rivalry. </span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/VA1MkoIsAVw&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/VA1MkoIsAVw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">2) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Standing on the Shoulder of Giants </span>- "Go Let It Out"<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:13px;"></span></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Recorded in France as the band was trying to ditch the drugs (and being ditched by two founding band members), this #1 single ironically stands out as one of the most euphoric of all Oasis recordings. Compared to earlier tunes like “Supersonic” or “Shakermaker,” this is an exquisitely structured rocker, offering up 3 or 4 melodies most choruses would kill for, until a sugar-rush finale reveals them as cleverly interlocking parts of a greater whole. One of an unfortunately few number of singles that can be counted as a sonic journey, including that mysterious guitar coda. The most affecting moment in the song occurs near the end when Liam, mangling the chorus’ words to reveal a deeper meaning, appears to be pleading: “Go let it out, don’t let it in, don’t let it end, don’t let it </span></span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">end.</span></span></span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">” For a group who were briefly the biggest band in the world (for roughly six weeks at the end of 1996, according to Noel), it’s a heartfelt plea, only three years later, to simply survive. </span></span></span></span></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div></div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/ls7ov-iPsUw&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/ls7ov-iPsUw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">3) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Don't Believe the Truth</span> - "Guess God Thinks I'm Abel"</span></div><div><!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">That’s “Abel” as in “Cain and…” not “able-bodied man.” The brotherly connotations should be obvious, although Liam subverts his “hard-man” image by casting himself as the murdered brethren. This was written during a period at which Liam claimed to be a church-going sinner (although he rejected the Bible due to its lack of aliens). He has since claimed he never set foot in a church, but no matter, Liam’s lyrical offers of friendship, reconciliation and love still resonate. The strongest components of this song are its melody (a Gallagher specialty), textured percussion, yearning backing vocals and thundering coda. </span></p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/68aI6BbFTXw&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/68aI6BbFTXw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Keep in mind this is a live, and not particularly great, version of the song which is therefore lacking most of the instrumentation I mention in the write-up. But something is better than nothing. The YouTube giveth and the YouTube taketh away.</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;">4) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"Lyla" single b-side </span>- "Eyeball Tickler"</span></p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> <!--StartFragment--> </span></p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">A terrific example of Liam’s late-period throat-shredding. Legitimately badass riffs buttress nonsense lyrics, pummeling drums and Liam’s voice at its most fearsome. In short, classic Oasis. And the only song on this anthology which </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">wasn’t</span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> written by a Gallagher. It comes from the pen of Gem Archer, guitarist, songwriter and Noel’s lieutenant since joining the group just after the release of </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Standing on the Shoulder of Giants</span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> in 2000. He claims to write specifically for Liam’s inimitable voice and when Gallagher Jr. screams those ‘ahhh’s you believe. In everything. You can almost see Liam slap the microphone to the ground as the song fades out (something he used to do all the fucking time). </span></span></span></p><p></p></div><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/aO7mxofsQXQ&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/aO7mxofsQXQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; font-size:medium;">5) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The Masterplan </span>(b-sides compilation) - "Half the World Away"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Jesus fucking Christ. Where to begin with a song so choked in emotion, thought, resonance and longing. I can only tell you what remains with me since I first heard it: “I would like to leave this city;” Noel’s plaintive vocals; “I can feel the warning signs running around my mind;” the sympathetic purr of a Fender Rhodes piano; “my body feels young but my mind is very old;” “you can’t give me the dreams that are mine anyway;” brushes on a snare drum, “(you’re) half the world away;” that chord progression during the chorus; “I’m still scratching around in the same old hole;” when the person you love the most seems as far away as possible; “I don’t feel down,” making the journey, guitar chimming into the twilight; the Fender Rhodes purring to sleep; (It should also be noted that this song was recorded by Noel in Texas while he was AWOL from Oasis’ first U.S. tour)</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><br /><br /><br /><div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/vAoJj80l6oU&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/vAoJj80l6oU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">6) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The Masterplan </span>- "Headshrinker" </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Whiplash. “The Sex Pistols are the greatest band ever, mate” Liam declared. This is the sound of his John Lennon/John Lydon vocal stylings reaching an early apex. Dig those elongated vowels. Dig that chunky guitar solo. Dig the Stevie Wonder reference about bowing down “to the tears of a clown.” Dig out your soul, a little later. </span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"> </p></span></div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/a0sry6TyEUU&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/a0sry6TyEUU&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">7) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">"The Hindu Times" </span>single b-side - "Idler's Dream"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Gentle whiplash. Noel’s balladry at its least meat-and-potatoes. Those amateurish piano arpeggios prepare one for the worst, but that is before the melody (the constant Oasis saving grace), the last-second harmonies, horizontal synth and those magnificent words. Simultaneously Noel’s most emotionally vulnerable </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">and</span></span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> most cryptically poetic set of lyrics he sings about his heart skipping a beat when he catches his lover’s eyes, as well as his desire to meet this person “on a day that never ends.” He describes lying down carnally in leaves and then being buried under them in his sleep. He recognizes his love as an idler’s dream, but doesn’t want to wake up alone. Noel was once asked if he was secretly a romantic. “That’s a good question,” he mused. It may be a good question, but it’s an easy answer. </span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/xdQWoJQDmnw&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/xdQWoJQDmnw&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">8) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The Masterplan</span> - "Stay Young"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">“It’s about growing up, but not growing old,” Noel once said about early b-side “Fade Away.” “Stay Young” is a song in a similar vein and one that grows in poignancy as the furrows deepen on the brow of its writer (Noel) and time slowly ravages the throat that once thundered its words (Liam). Noel’s endlessly sunny guitar riffs ride atop one of his most stridently positive chord progressions and alongside one of Alan White’s most irresistible drum tracks. A tune that defines the pleasures of what people used to call “AM pop” (even down to its fuzzy texture and minimal bass), the damn thing just </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">shimmers</span></span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. But for all the song’s musical assurance it’s rather lyrically ambivalent, from the impossibility of the title phrase to the simultaneous boast and apology of its self-conscious refrain: “We know just what we are.” </span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /><br /></span><div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/yN8L_BZr8qQ&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/yN8L_BZr8qQ&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">9) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">The Masterplan </span>- "Listen Up"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Yet another embarrassment of melodic riches. A pre-chorus, chorus and post-chorus more dynamic than most bands’ entire album, as well as one of Noel’s best-structured guitar solos. The segments of the song stretching from the moment Liam elongates “one fine daaaaay” over that unusual chord to his declaration of independence (“I don’t mind being on my own”) summarize, for me, the transcendent potential of modern pop music. A song to get lost in and a song to find yourself in, even if you never do find your way home.</span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/EPXIzd8LIYM&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/EPXIzd8LIYM&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">10) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Be Here Now </span>- "Don't Go Away"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Written by Noel during a time when his mother feared she was dying from cancer, this is unquestionably the best </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">sounding</span></span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> song from </span></span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Be Here Now</span></span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">. A thoughtful melody is bolstered by a string-and-horn arrangement inspired by Marc Bolan and the orchestral counter-melodies of Burt </span></span></span></span><span style=" ;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Bacharach. Despite an uninspired bridge (which was never played live anyway), the song features what is arguably Liam’s finest ever performance. Emanating a vocal strength and cleanness lacking in both earlier and later recordings, Liam slips just the right amount of grain into his most conventionally accomplished singing.</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span style=" ;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=""><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Noel’s lyric, “damn my education, I can’t find the words to say” is also a key line to appreciating much of the group’s lyrical content. Like the way Robert De Niro finds the poetry in his characters’ inarticulateness, Liam often found an emotional undercurrent in Noel’s mishmash of nonsense, cliché and occasional poetry. Or as Terrence Malick once put it, “When people express what is most important to them, it often comes out in clichés. That doesn’t make it laughable; it’s something tender about them. As though in struggling to reach what’s most personal about them they could only come up with what’s most public.” Shockingly, this was a single only in Oasis-crazed Japan.</span></span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><br /></p></span></div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/DWPANvDPFBk&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/DWPANvDPFBk&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">11) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Be Here Now </span>- "My Big Mouth"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Too long, too loud, too stupid, yet somehow just fucking right. Only the Brothers Gallagher would publicly apologize for their loose lips with a song featuring dozens of squalling guitar tracks. First unveiled to the lucky 200,000-strong crowd at Knebworth, at Oasis’ commercial zenith, it is one of only three songs from </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Be Here Now</span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> that Noel still enjoys (the other two being lead single “D’You Know What I Mean?” and the aforementioned “Don’t Go Away.”)</span></span></span></p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><br /></p></span></div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/iAJyAOWOFwM&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/iAJyAOWOFwM&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">12) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Heathen Chemistry </span>- "Songbird"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">A lilting, country-rock gem as intimate and dewy as the feelings it suggests, this is one of the most accomplished Oasis songs. It was also Liam’s first single, hitting #3 in the charts, and his first composition heard by the public since the “Little James” debacle of </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Standing on the Shoulder of Giants</span></span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> (a song so detested that it’s lyrics were regularly printed in the tabloids as mockery). As the NME wrote of a later Liam song (</span></span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Dig Out Your Soul’s</span></span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> “I’m Outta Time”), “Liam is at his best when he’s at his sweetest.” And he is never better, or sweeter, than he is here. A tune full of trilling vocal inflections and bubbling synth lines, this song conveys the joy and fear that new love brings. “Whispered in my ear the things I’d like/ Then she flew away into the night” has always struck me as a beautiful approximation of the limbo of the heart, stuck between flirtation and commitment. Although the chorus sounds shrugged-off on paper (“She’s not anyone”), it gains its emotional content through Liam’s compassionate melody and defiant vocal reading. A minor masterpiece only in scale.</span></span></span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OTCieLARhdc&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OTCieLARhdc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">13) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Don't Believe the Truth </span>- "Part of the Queue"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">One of the most recent entries in the long line of British pop songs to mine the rhythms of The Stranglers’ “Golden Brown,” this tune features a desperate, passionate vocal from Noel and a late-night tempest of percussion, piano and acoustic guitar all swirling together in a sledgehammer waltz. Also one of the highlights of Noel’s lyrical renaissance on </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Don’t Believe the Truth</span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, the song both owns up to the band’s failures (“every beginning has broken its promise”) and promises fans a future worth believing in (“keep on/ trying”).</span></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span></span><o:p></o:p></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> </span></div><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/6sKoSwgMG-g&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/6sKoSwgMG-g&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">14) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Don't Believe the Truth </span>- "Let There Be Love"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">In his review of 2005’s </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Don’t Believe the Truth</span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">, All Music Guide critic Stephen Thomas Erlewine declared that it was the album with which Liam Gallagher “reclaimed his crown as the best singer in rock.” No vocal performance makes that case as strongly as “Let There Be Love.” The melody/lyrics of the verses can be described as Lennon-esque in the most flattering sense of the word. Liam’s naked vocals ache on the high notes and soothe on the comedown. Only the chorus could be described as a (relative) disappointment. But this is more than made up for by a bridge of astonishing melodic invention and one of Noel’s finest vocals ever (before he disappears into the clouds on the </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Imagine</span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> cover). </span></span></span></p> <p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Andy Bell, bassist and songwriter for the band, once compared them to tour-mates the Black Crowes saying: “The Black Crowes are all about riffs. We’re all about chords.” And it’s on a song like this, full of big, open, majestic chords that the ineffable magic of Oasis is felt at it fullest. The space between the chords and within the chords themselves “gives us room to dream,” as Jonathan Rosenbaum loves to say about films employing extended long-takes. Within these vast chords, Noel and Liam are able to evoke both time (“a world come undone at the seams” referencing the chaotic times of 2005) and timelessness (“Suspended clear in the sky are the words that we sing in our dreams”) in what Noel would rightfully call “a modern hymn.”</span></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> </span></div><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3TqJa0RZOUc&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3TqJa0RZOUc&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">15) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Don't Believe the Truth </span>- "The Importance of Being Idle"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">One of their greatest titles, as well as one of their best videos, as well as, fortunately, one of their best songs. I could just type up the complete lyrics and be done with it, but instead I’ll simply mention that Noel returns to the short-story format of “Married with Children” and “She’s Electric” with similarly spectacular results. And he fucking nails the falsetto. While not in the life-changing vein of “Don’t’ Look Back in Anger,” it won enough public favor to give Oasis their first back-to-back #1 singles in the UK (following “Lyla”) since 2000 (and those two singles that were separated by three years). This moment also signaled the definitive comeback for the group from the perceived doldrums of </span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Standing on the Shoulder of Giants</span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> and </span></span></span><i><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Heathen Chemistry</span></span></i><span style="font-style:normal"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">.</span></span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jySfU10IQu4&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jySfU10IQu4&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">16) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Dig Out Your Soul </span>- "Bag It Up"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> <!--StartFragment--> <p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">A tune that simply gets everything right from the glam rock stomp to the intertwining vocal melodies to the huge chorus to the howling coda to the cool-as-fuck vocal delivery to the whimsical-yet-menacing lyrics to the return of the “ecstatic harmonies” of “She’s Electric” and “Champagne Supernova.” </span></span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><br /></p><div><object width="420" height="339"><param name="movie" value="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x8hgws"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x8hgws" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="420" height="339" allowfullscreen="true" allowscriptaccess="always"></embed></object><br /><b><a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/swf/x8hgws">Oasis - Bag it up (full track)</a></b><br /><i>by <a href="http://www.dailymotion.com/Rijsel92">Rijsel92</a></i></div><br /><br /><p></p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">17) </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">Dig Out Your Soul </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: medium;">- "Falling Down"</span></p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><!--StartFragment--> </p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Noel’s second attempt to rewrite “Tomorrow Never Knows” is perhaps not as earth-shattering as his first (that is, his collaboration with the Chemical Brothers, “Setting Sun”) but it undoubtedly more thoughtful. Singing like a man lost in outer space (his own description), Noel sighs about the summer sun, kissing the world goodbye and other notions of psychic drift. It’s not all resignation though. Noel reveals his cosmic wit by informing God Almighty, “if you won’t save me, please don’t waste my time.” And when he declares “we live a dying dream/ if you know what I mean” Noel is both decrying Oasis status as a giant-sized cult band and winking at the true believers. If the psychedelic legacy of the 1960s must give way to the mundanities of “modern rock,” then “Falling Down” serves as an moving epitaph. Dig that piano reverb.</span></span><o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><br /></p></span></div><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/TEzmU7YSXJs&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/TEzmU7YSXJs&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold; font-size:medium;">18) <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Standing on the Shoulder of Giants</span> - "Gas Panic!"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;"> </span></span><!--StartFragment--><p class="MsoNoteLevel1" style="margin-left:0in;text-indent:0in"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">“My family don’t seem so familiar.” A fortunate example of Noel producing a song as exquisitely as he wrote it. A creative zenith at the band’s absolute commercial bottom, Noel penned the tune in the post-traumatic afterglow of his decision to quit shoveling cocaine up his nostrils. Abandoned by founding members Paul “Bonehead” Arthurs and Paul McGuigan, scorned by critics, outsold by rivals, regarded as an instant nostalgia act by a formerly adoring public who only wanted to hear the old hits…panic wasn’t “on the way,” it was living with the band, under their skin, at every moment. This is their victory.</span></span></p> <!--EndFragment--> </span></div><br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/mnVdYJDtvVg&hl=en&fs=1"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/mnVdYJDtvVg&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" font-weight: bold;font-size:medium;">EPILOGUE</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: bold;"> <!--StartFragment--><span style=" ;font-family:'Times New Roman';"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Bear in mind that this single CD was painfully whittled down from twice it’s current length, a process which resulted in the exclusion of absolutely essential Oasis songs (“The Masterplan”, “D’You Know What I Mean?,” “Acquiesce”), #1 UK singles (“All Around the World,” “Lyla,” “The Hindu Times”), recent triumphs (“Waiting for the Rapture,” “I’m Outta Time,” “Stop Crying Your Heart Out”) and songs that just happen to be among the greatest of the band’s career (“Who Feels Love?,” “Roll It Over,” “Thank You For The Good Times”). What I’m saying is: there’s more where this came from. A lot more.</span></span></span><!--EndFragment--><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"> </span></span><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">It goes without saying that a physical copy of this mix is available upon request</span><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:48px;"><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:48px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" ;font-size:16px;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-T388Z5y8juQGWMfRqQ0BJQfHWG1vwLO8LNMj3rUjC0-onaFPZdZp9u-U3W5ybDn7UBRU1rjx_1aK787a4Uymwsm9P74Hgv7ugWmiAp49U1tSUNrEgScQdsGZRINAy7mb1GO3m_0qdjI/s1600-h/oasis+2000s+1.jpg"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-T388Z5y8juQGWMfRqQ0BJQfHWG1vwLO8LNMj3rUjC0-onaFPZdZp9u-U3W5ybDn7UBRU1rjx_1aK787a4Uymwsm9P74Hgv7ugWmiAp49U1tSUNrEgScQdsGZRINAy7mb1GO3m_0qdjI/s400/oasis+2000s+1.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5324462965925491026" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 234px; height: 400px; " /></a></span></span></div><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Don't Look Back in Anger?</span></div></div>Eric Wheelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08224914551422412880noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-2977602879019016522009-04-13T16:49:00.000-07:002009-04-28T17:01:24.126-07:00Potent Quotables #2 (Volume One, Issue Two)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(An erratically maintained feature in which we share resonant quotations and pay homage to the most durable of all SNL-<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Jeopardy</span> categories)</span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:13px;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Imitate, and what is personal will eventually come despite yourself."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">-Jean Cocteau</span></div>Eric Wheelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08224914551422412880noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-52143264058809524792009-04-07T00:20:00.000-07:002009-04-28T16:57:36.288-07:00It's (Almost) Funny Because It's True: Early Impressions of "Observe and Report" (Volume One, Issue Two)<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.impawards.com/2009/posters/observe_and_report.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 231px; height: 341px;" src="http://www.impawards.com/2009/posters/observe_and_report.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />My access to advance screenings of Hollywood films is likely to take a permanent hiatus come the end of this month, but I find it very appropriate to write about <span style="font-style: italic;">Observe and Report</span> underneath this looming cloud of obsolescence. It is a film from a formerly obscure writer-director (Jody Hill of <span style="font-style: italic;">Foot Fist Way</span> cult fame) about a formerly obscure subculture (the <span style="font-style: italic;">Paul Blart</span>-ian world of mall security) that, judging from the advertising, bears more than a passing resemblance to the <span style="font-style: italic;">Police Academy</span> series.<br /><br />Seth Rogen, however, is the anti-Guttenberg as the movie's anti-hero Ronnie Barnhardt, a tinpot dictator who somehow manages to come across as a woefully incompetent and shockingly capable human being. Hill's script is as confounding as Rogen's character, advancing too many stray subplots and loose ends while Ronnie goes about his primary goal of apprehending a flasher terrorizing female patrons in the mall's parking lot. We travel with Ronnie as he attempts to join the police academy, romance a vapid shopgirl (Anna Faris), and foil a shoe-store robbery with the help of his lisping sidekick (Michael Pena)--there's fodder for two or three movies in here, just not a single, cohesive one.<br /><br />What sustains <span style="font-style: italic;">Observe and Report</span> is Hill's caustic brand of comedy, an approach that seems openly hostile to laughter with its de-emphasis of the typical raunch and randomness of a major studio product. As such, Hill relies on two types of jokes: the terribly annoying shenanigans of thinly-drawn weirdos like Pena (whose performance would be the film's most embarrassing were it not for Danny McBride's "brownface" cameo as a Latino gangsta) and the terrifyingly real aberrance of troubled people like Rogen. Audiences can detect the type of asshole that only exists on the page and the type of asshole that exists in their neighborhood, and the vast majority of the film's successful comedy is derived from the latter.<br /><br />But where Hill truly clinched my attention was in the minor revelation/spoiler that Rogen's character suffers from bipolar disorder, which might help to explain the film's aimless plotline. It also provides a rationale for its aggressively bleak nature. Hill doesn't treat mental illness like a typical lowbrow point-and-laugh punchline but a taboo to be satirized. And while he's not the first to force us to laugh at a delusional, violent creep who's just trying to do right by equally fucked-up friends and family, knowing that Ronnie's behavior stems from more than circumstance adds an unexpected layer of pathos. You laugh immediately because you'd probably cry if you pondered it for too long.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Observe and Report</span> will probably not make a lot of money, not because it's too uncomfortable but because it's not uncomfortable enough. There's a reason that the phrase "broad black comedy" doesn't exist outside of this sentence that I just wrote. Hill seems torn between playing to the mooks in the bleachers and the schadenfreude enthusiasts, taking stabs at trendiness that sometimes work (a soundtrack awash in semi-obscure Queen tracks) but mostly don't (thoroughly mining the comedic possibilities of male genitalia). In creating an Apatow pie mixed with battery acid, Hill has concocted something that will pique the interest of the many but satisfy the palates of the few.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-23087474110327473842009-04-06T15:23:00.000-07:002009-04-28T16:59:47.698-07:00Potent Quotables #1 (Volume One, Issue Two)<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">(An erratically maintained feature in which we share resonant quotations and pay homage to the most durable of all SNL-</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Jeopardy </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">categories)</span><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:small;">Today we present you with a punk rock-themed triple threat. Behold:</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Second verse, same as the first"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">-The Ramones, "Judy Is a Punk," </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Ramones </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">LP</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Punk rock died when the first kid said, 'Punk's not dead, punk's not dead'."</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">-The Silver Jews, "Tennessee," </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">Tennessee </span></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">EP</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">"Ever get the feeling you've been cheated?"</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:medium;">-Johnny Rotten at the final Sex Pistols gig, San Francisco, 1978</span></div>Eric Wheelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08224914551422412880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-89667860223586761212009-04-06T15:00:00.001-07:002009-04-06T15:23:13.381-07:00A Big Welcome Back to Ourselves!<div><br /></div>Greetings, true believers. <div><br /></div><div>As you may or may not have noticed, our weBLOG/online magazine has been laying dormant for a few weeks now (specifically the week before, during and after Spring Break). We also may or may not have noticed that. But fear not. We have been gathering strength in our hibernation, like a late-period DOOM or mid-90s Terrence Malick. We also hope that this (un)intentional break has given you time to become familiar with our format and to spread the word:<br /></div><div>"Have you heard the good news?" </div><div>"He is Risen." </div><div>"No, Anamorphic Analysis is publishing regularly again!" </div><div>"Oh, blessed day."</div><div><br /></div><div>Anyway, we've got a lot of good stuff coming your way including that long-in-the-works roundtable on <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">30 Rock</span>, reviews of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Adventureland</span>, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Dragonball Evolution</span> and <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">I Love You, Man</span>. Yep. It's that time of year. </div><div><br /></div><div>So with intermittent ado, welcome to Volume One, Issue Two of Anamorphic Analysis. We hope you enjoy reading it as much as we enjoy badgering people to write it.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">And so that you don't go away totally empty-handed, here's a peek at how we spent those wild weeks around Spring Break. The answer, as usual, is "like a hurricane":<br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 341px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiEpRZxxtUTbqLGkZ3_RXN_sqpPSQ-te7Glr4HXRvXVK1Oqpf33TOBS0-OGkRs2QW6NsspaBkQmhEJGBw2-_k9bH6BoI2_11S9VLbpXbY8cU-Lm0PhxYlvIUOoxO5WWu17WL0cYTmBVLWg/s400/garfield-minus-garfield.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5321704842997124130" /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div>Eric Wheelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08224914551422412880noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-86356351001246649152009-03-20T14:19:00.000-07:002009-03-20T14:20:53.514-07:00Watching the Watchmen Ten Years Too Late<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://www.seanpercival.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/watchmen1.jpg"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 443px; height: 252px;" src="http://www.seanpercival.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/watchmen1.jpg" alt="" border="0" /></a><br />Zack Snyder's adaptation of the <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen</span>, the "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Citizen Kane </span>of graphic novels," does not seem to be packing the punch it possibly should with <a href="http://www.rottentomatoes.com/m/watchmen/">critics</a> or <a href="http://www.zimbio.com/Movie+News/articles/3778/Watchmen+underperforms+box+office">ticket-buying moviegoers</a>. Why? I have my own theory, but more on that in a moment. I personally liked the film. I purposely chose not to reread the graphic novel before seeing it (it had been about five years since I read it the first time), so I could come at it with a fresh perspective. I decided to reread it <span style="font-style: italic;">after</span> seeing the movie, and I very much approve of the changes Snyder made from the source material. The slight alterations in dialogue and the new ending all seem to be in favor of the characters. But enough about my opinion. I'm here to hypothesize why <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen </span>isn't the the end all be all of comic book movies that the graphic novel is made out to be for comic books. After letting it simmer in my head over the past two weeks, I have come to the conclusion that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen </span>is in need of a time machine, or perhaps more appropriately, an alternate history.<br /><br />Moore's <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen</span> was a product of its time, a reaction to and pastiche of the comic books and politics of the 1980s. A "truly faithful" adaptation might have done the same for its own time period, yet Snyder's film seems to circumvent any real influence of the 2000s. Aside from the mostly stellar CGI, made possible only by the last decade of technological improvment, <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen </span>more accurately reflects the aesthetics of the 1990s. The fight scenes, for instance, with their emphasis on physical, agile combat and slow motion visual effects, more accurately recall the action sequences of 90s movies like <span style="font-style: italic;">The Matrix </span>(1999), <span style="font-style: italic;">Blade </span>(1998), or anything by John Woo than the quick-cutting, handheld, "realistic" sensibilities of more recent films like <span style="font-style: italic;">The Bourne Identity </span>(2002) or <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman Begins </span>(2005). Heck, even the attempted rape scene resembles a bout between ninjas. Also, rather than sending up the countless superhero movies of the current decade, <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen </span>seems more overtly fixated on parodying the Bat-films by Joel Schumacher. Ozymandias' costume is clearly a play on the outfits from <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman & Robin</span>, complete with nipples. Thematically, perhaps this is appropriate, as Ozy the "mask killer" is nearly responsible for the death of costumed crimefighters, just as <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman & Robin</span> almost killed the superhero genre. Furthermore, the song ironically used in the initial <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen </span>trailer, "The Beginning is the End is the Beginning" by Smashing Pumpkins, comes straight from the <span style="font-style: italic;">Batman & Robin</span> soundtrack. Where are all the <span style="font-style: italic;">Dark Knight </span>references? How about an homage to Sam Raimi's <span style="font-style: italic;">Spider-Man </span>or the <span style="font-style: italic;">X-Men </span>films? Why so nostalgic?<br /><br />Even the politics of <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen</span>, with its alternate Cold War history and countdown to doomsday, only superficially connect with any sort of particularly relevant post-9/11 sentiment. Say Snyder's <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen </span>was released in 1999 rather than 2009. The political aspects of the film, much more relegated to the background as compared to the graphic novel, would not necessarily be lost. The apocalyptic component could just as easily play to a potentially paranoid audience during the Y2K scare as a post-9/11 audience. There is also a level of cheesiness to the film that seems out of place in today's "lactose intolerant" culture of irony (please forgive the metaphor. I had to). The over-the-top fight scenes are more likely to inspire rolling eyes than oohs and ahhs. In terms of visual design, Ozymandias' Antarctic lair resembles the styrofoam pyramids of <span style="font-style: italic;">The Mummy</span> (1999), not the impressive set pieces of <span style="font-style: italic;">Lord of the Rings </span>(2001). Even lines like Silk Spectre's "You're such an asshole" didn't seem to play as well to my fellow audience as it might have a decade ago. It appears people were much more open to cheese in the 90s (see action-packed, one-liner-ridden, top-grossing blockbusters like <span style="font-style: italic;">Independence Day </span>(1996), <span style="font-style: italic;">Men in Black </span>(1997) or any of the movies from the previous Batman franchise).<br /><br />Perhaps the ironic culture of today has moved to a position in which it is simply over the type of film that Snyder's <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen </span>is, a fun action movie with a little cheese on top. Released in 1999, it might possibly have been the masterpiece an adaptation of the original <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen </span>should be. Besides, it could have beaten <span style="font-style: italic;">Sin City </span>(2005) and <span style="font-style: italic;">300</span> (2007) to the punch with the whole direct translation of a graphic novel trend, and might have seemed more innovative and less tired. Instead, the film has opened to a lukewarm response by an unforgiving society with a low tolerance for camp. <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen</span>'s opening titles, without a doubt the best sequence of the film, suddenly take on new, extra-cinematic appropriateness. "The times they are a-changin'" indeed.Cam Siemerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09385052738713733553noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-54925026982396571392009-03-12T16:01:00.000-07:002009-03-12T16:32:51.185-07:00Contemplations on "Breaking Bad"<span style="font-weight: bold;">Rapidly becoming the best show on television:</span><br /><br /><embed src="http://services.brightcove.com/services/viewer/federated_f8/1119352258" bgcolor="#FFFFFF" flashvars="videoId=14384555001&playerId=1119352258&viewerSecureGatewayURL=https://console.brightcove.com/services/amfgateway&servicesURL=http://services.brightcove.com/services&cdnURL=http://admin.brightcove.com&domain=embed&autoStart=false&" base="http://admin.brightcove.com" name="flashObj" seamlesstabbing="false" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" swliveconnect="true" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/shockwave/download/index.cgi?P1_Prod_Version=ShockwaveFlash" height="373" width="440"></embed><br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Breaking Bad</span> started its second season last week. This show has received tremendous critical acclaim but little notice outside of Hollywood's insular community. Bryan <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Cranston</span> won an Emmy last year for his portrayal of Walter White, <span style="font-style: italic;">Breaking Bad's</span> antihero protagonist. I think it's currently The Best Thing On Television, though I am admittedly not a television-watcher. I generally only watch one show at a time (though I don't count <span style="font-style: italic;">30 Rock</span> or<span style="font-style: italic;"> The Daily Show/Colbert Report</span>). So really what I mean is I only have time for one one hour drama at a time. For the past four years or so, that's been <span style="font-style: italic;"><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Battlestar</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Galactica</span></span>, but now that it's (finally) ending, <span style="font-style: italic;">Breaking Bad</span> looks like the replacement.<br /><br />Briefly, what I find so captivating about the show:<br /><ul><li>It has some of the best acting I've seen on television (nearly on par with <span style="font-style: italic;">The Sopranos</span>).</li><li>It has a fantastically tragic protagonist, whose moral ambiguity is perfectly channeled by <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Cranston</span>.</li><li>The series is Shakespearean in its tragedy (though not its scope). You know almost exactly where its going, but you're still rooting for the characters, nonetheless.</li><li>It's set <span style="font-style: italic;">and</span> filmed in <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Albuquerque</span>, New Mexico, which gives the show a very realistic yet alien quality. We're all used to seeing television set in Los Angeles and New York (and more recently, Vancouver and Miami), but the desert geography of <span style="font-style: italic;">Breaking Bad</span> feels altogether new.<br /></li></ul>I've posted the second-season premiere episode which I encourage any to watch. But a word of warning: if you haven't watched the first season the episode won't make much sense. If you like what you see, I encourage you to purchase/steal/borrow the first season (which is a mercifully-short seven episodes).<br /><br />Coming up from Yours <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Truly</span>: Reflections of <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Galactica</span> (a very personal essay that I will write after the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">show's</span> finale a week from tomorrow), my <span style="font-style: italic;">Watchmen</span> review, and some musings on theatre and acting.Daniel Borders-Ashehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03148077472844292600noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2824978679939269005.post-16604641555611908882009-03-09T14:23:00.000-07:002009-03-09T17:19:48.033-07:00Stray Thoughts, Fringe Opinions #9: 20th Century Fox's Announcement That Their DVD Rentals Will No Longer Contain Special Features<div><br /></div><div>Fuck you, you money-grubbing pieces of shit.<br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 228px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg53JYGDRyKrMEmEeahjiJ3YMv9CxvOBXPXJ8EyPeJ3v14NNzQakLIHl9esc3oLyZsmR6b7keJPPpjC8u_Myzxgh4C-b0QNKt61qU64U8xwbHm3NAizbcfRYIvK2TJeyPn7astDkMpqZkQ/s400/ralph-wiggum-nose-picking.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5311304451185353218" /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>The full turd <a href="http://www.avclub.com/articles/foxs-new-dvd-policy-no-special-features-for-renter,24860/">here</a>.</div>Eric Wheelerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08224914551422412880noreply@blogger.com2